SeEtAhnEss-

To the one who got lost along the way.

2010-12-24T01:19:00.002+08:00

You used to have time for yourself.

You used to have time for your friends.

You used to have time for your family.

But everything has changed now. No, wait. Not everything. You've changed. Entirely. Into someone everybody barely knew. Someone who's so lost in her own world, who has foolishly completely dedicated her life to one sole guy.

Maybe you have yet to realize, what you're losing. Or worse, what you have actually lost along that path you have taken. At this very moment you're still stuck, afloat in your own fantasy, and gravity has yet to get a grip on you and bring you down. Back down, on the ground to face the reality that you have long left behind.

Girl, (Note the use of girl, instead of woman. That's something.) I believe it has been ages since you've taken the time to evaluate on things, rationalize on your actions, and take into account what the people around you are trying to let you know. It may be wrong for me to be passing judgments, but I am certain that I am not the only one who thinks of you that way.

There's a hidden (to you) truth behind the actions of others, behind every word that comes out from their mouths. Truths that you find hard to believe, or you probably wouldn't want to believe. Perhaps at this point of time, you're still blinded. Still dazzled over that one particular guy, who's like a disease, that is ravaging you, slowly eating you from the inside.

Maybe, just maybe, you realize what it is that's going on around you, what it is that has happened and is happening to you. But perhaps, you're just in-denial. Because you are in a current state of bliss, caught-up in your own little world and you refuse to see the bigger picture.

I just had to flip back and open this chapter of life I once went through. Funny how we used to be so close not so long ago. So close that everybody knew who you were to me, and who I was to you. I cared about you. I loved you. I did. So much, perhaps a little too much. But what you did, led to what happened between us. I hope someone smacks you back to reality soon, before it's too late.

You've lost me, I just hope you wouldn't lose anyone else.

I miss my friends.

2010-07-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

I really do. Gone were the days when we shared laughters, the days when we would be seen going out together, chattering non-stop, when we would have if not daily, our weekly meet ups at the cafeteria. So yeah, this post goes out to Abdul Adl Qayyum Al-Nafi Bin Othman, Arif Abdul Rahman, and Najla Bt Ahmad Kendong.

There were those moments when I would just sit down, and think, of how everything has changed, how we have changed. I don't know why, but I miss the three of you so much. Maybe I miss the companionship. I miss how we used to be so close. I miss how every single week we would meet up at the cafeteria, just for updates on how life has been treating us every week. About our studies, our roommates *nudges Lala*, about new gossips. (Although, Arif missed most of the meet-ups. =PP)

I remember how Qayyum was always like the elder brother. He was always there to listen, and rarely says no when I'd ask for him to come down to the cafeteria just to chat. And Lala. Lala's always up for McDelivery's and Domino's. I miss sleeping in her room, and playing with her DS, that brain game? I can't recall what its name is. Heehee. She has seen me breaking down, and was always there to lend an ear. Arif, well. Arif was a different case. He's like that younger brother who always goes missing, but was still as sweet when he realises he did something wrong (well only when we make him feel bad about it) and tried to make it up to us. Heehee.

It's funny how we've grown apart now. Well, maybe it's the distance, no? Arif got to continue his studies in UM, Lala's in Shah Alam. Qayyum is here in Miri, but we rarely meet up nowadays. It saddens me. But back then when all four of us were here, we'd go out and have breakfast, catch-up on our lives and just hang. Now there's... nothing. I miss that. I miss all of that. The fact that we used to be so close back then makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job at maintaining this relationship the four of us had. I don't know if the three of you feel the same. But yeah. I feel bad. If I was wrong for not keeping in touch as often as I should, forgive me. I miss the three of you. I really really do. Gosh this is making me all teary.

This was the only picture we took, with all four of us in it.

Hi there you three. If any of you were to read this, jom, breakfast sama lagik, when all four of us are here. Okay? *hugs*

A comeback post for someone who I shouldn't be giving a damn about but is too damned to not be given a damn about.

2010-07-02T12:55:00.003+08:00

WOW! I think that was the longest post title to date! I blog when I want to, and I'm now blogging because I want to channel out all the annoyance and irritation inside of me. I believe whoever reads my blog knows of my hatred towards this particular person. Well if you've forgotten or if you're new here: Hate Post. =)

And so. News Flash. I was helping Sayang out decluttering his wall by marking her then posts. Getting rid of all those as he claimed "Dirty" posts off his wall was something we felt like doing. Just because. Marked the posts with "TETT!"s and "EEK!"s, to make it easy for him to remove from the notifications. (OKAY! maybe there were a couple of lame comments and what not but majority was of TETT's and EEK's okay?)

Sayang actually enjoyed it. Had a good laugh removing the posts when he read all the TETT's and EEK's. See. I make my boyfriend happy. Of course we were aware that the person on the other end would be receiving the notifications too. But heck, we don't give that much of a damn. Unfortunately, SHE does. And all the kambing gurun's then come out to play. HEH.

Why kambing gurun? Beats me. Ask freakazoid. She's been labelling us (me and boyfie) that since I don't know when. Lemme run through a check list. (A list of things she calls me)

Immature : Check.
Childish : Check.
Kambing Gurun: Check.
Bitch : Check.
Bloodyfucker : Check.
Mental : Check.
Meruyan : Check.

Now see who's childish and immature? At least I'm not one to be calling you names. Well, freakazoid was an exception. Ngee! I think there's more, but yeah I can't recall what else is it she's been calling me. I don't think I've ever been meddling in her life since... I don't know. Yet I've heard so many stories behind my back saying she's been mocking and insulting me, mocking the boyfriend. HEH. And today off all day she said "imejin jak..mun nya xpuas ati, jmpa bh f2f...pa nk anok blakng2....BE MATURED baa" (translation: just imagine. if she's not pleased, then let's meet up, face to face. what's with saying things from behind. BE MATURED.) Cheh. Aku anok pun sik kot. *pfft*

I SWEAR TO GOD I had the laugh of my life. Because it's as if she's slapping herself in the face (only if she realises). I bet what she didn't realise was that what she has been doing all these while was the exact thing she said. I mean, saying things in a deceit manner. Count please, how many posts are there on your wall with you insulting the boyfriend and me. HEH. At least I didn't do it like that. You were directly notified, weren't you?

And owh. What was it were you thinking about when you act all pious? (I admit, I'm not one pious being myself, and I very well know where I stand, on what I should or should not say. Whether I have the rights to say things out, judging by how I act. Get me?) Woman. You do all the bad behaviours one can possibly name. And people around you are well aware that you haven't quit doing things like that. What in your right mind makes you think you have it in you to advice people in a religious manner yet you don't practice what you preach. HEH! Hipocricy. One BIG form of HIPOCRICY.

Just so you know, the boyfriend and I are so far happy with our life. No such issue as to being "meruyan" over you. Come on, look at yourself. You're in the past. What we're not pleased of is just that you couldn't let it go and you keep insulting us, and have your friends somewhat stalking us, which makes you a creepy psychopath. Please lah. You started the war. And you're reluctant to end it. Ih. Can you please just mind your own life and stop talking about us already? Because it annoys us to the max. Kthxbai.

random.

2010-04-18T03:27:00.003+08:00

so here it is, my first post for the year.

things sure have taken a turn over the past few months. well, to a good one that is. I'm pretty sure everyone in my social circle knows how love struck / love drunk i am, call it what you want, and how i know some of you are sick of me being all mushy and stuff. now don't you go denying that fact. i do that too you know, so yeah, we're all guilty-as-charged.

i've realised just how things have changed in the last few months. or perhaps half a year. things have slowly fall into place, considering how it all fell apart not so long ago. memories. they keep coming back to haunt you, now, don't they always? they feed your insecurities, your fear, sometimes make you go crazy and lose your mind for just a second.

that happened often. those memories came just to shake you off your stand, and shut you off from your sane mind. at that point of time, getting rid of them can hardly be done. you lose yourself for a moment. then you'd think, why is it that you're letting this happen to yourself? take a moment and think through the matter, and breathe in deep. perhaps by that time you'd realize just how dumb you are for letting all things unnecessary take over you.

you have to know, you are in control of yourself. you wouldn't have made whatever decision you have made if you didn't think it was right. it's your intuition you're following. it is your call, true enough? even if everyone around you is telling you, that what you're doing is a mistake, well then prove to them, that this would be a mistake that you will make right.

what you need is just a little faith in yourself. when you gain that trust back in you, it's easy to shake all those bad memories, feelings that surround you, to a place far away. surely there would be a relapse(that happens), and those people around you again, but then, if it happens, help yourself to some fresh air and think. don't doubt yourself, don't doubt your decision, just because of some matter that is clouding your mind, which could very well be disregarded.

trust your heart. and you might just want to shut the fears and insecurities off from your system. trust yourself on this. remember. your past is far behind, you've left it there. but if you don't move forward, it might catch up again with you.

This post is dedicated specially to Malisa Bt Ahmad. (Or whatever the fuck your name is.)

2009-12-01T17:57:00.008+08:00

Yo, how you doin'? Rough patch huh? Life has been a bitch to you now, hasn't it? It has been cruel to you now, has it not been? Heard of the saying, what goes around, comes around? I guess karma slapped you right in your face! After you put Zaid and I through hell, now God's being fair to us. Serves you right, woman.

Don't you go thinking I'm one to go around clueless about things. In case you didn't know, I've learnt alot about you, and I understand how pathetic your life is, right this very moment. How you crave for attention from people so that they'd sympathize you. Hah! Perhaps maybe you envy me. Perhaps maybe you feel challenged by me. Eh, no. Wait. Let me get that straight. Not maybes. You DO envy me. You DO feel challenged by me. I know for a fact that you hate me so much right now. LONER. Or maybe you should replace the 'N' with an 'S' instead. That is, if you're smart enough to figure that out.

I know whatever the fuck that has been going on behind my back. I know you have been cussing me, and mocking me every chance you get. I guess you must have been adoring me so much to talk about me. Come on woman, don't you have a life? Did I meddle with yours? Have I been doing anything that caused the rage in you to escape? I don't know what version of tale you have been telling people about me. All I know is whatever the fuck you have been saying are probably coated with lies. Oh come on woman. Enough already. Shut the fuck up and get a life.

So yeah, Zaid and I got back together. He wants me. Chose me over you. Is it my fault that that happened? For fuck's sake, you knew from the very beginning he never wanted you. Don't you go denying the fact you're not always haunted by my existence when you so-called "got together" with him. Now, have you told your friends that side of the story? The one truth that went on at the beginning? Have you unveiled to them what REALLY happened? Did you spill out every single detail about what YOU have done from the very start? Believe me, if the truth ever comes out, you would be crying out blood my dear. You would be crying out blood.

You wouldn't want people to know that cruel side of you, now would you? So you would probably be covering up about everything. You'll be making up lies and what not, but believe me, the truth will come out, sooner or later. By that time, people would probably have their backs turned on you. I won't be the one telling all that to the people you know, because people are smart enough to judge what's good and what's bad. In this case, WHO. I would never want to stoop so low, down to your level, selling stories on facebook. I have much better things to do than waste my time on you.

Woman, GROW UP! Act like your age! God gave you brain, so you'd think right. You're old enough to know and realise that whatever on earth you are doing now is comparable to a child's behaviour. Calling me names of some sort. Aduh. That is so primary school-ish.

Perhaps maybe you could only register 50% of what I have mentioned here in your brain. Get a life. STOP messing with mine. Enough already saying fucks about me. Mind your own business, and get your own fucking life, for fuck's sake. Your life's miserable enough as it is now, don't take it out on me. I pity you, I do. Aaawwhh~.

P/S:

Oh, woman, just to let you know, and hell I know this would probably break your heart into pieces. Zaid and I, we NEVER lost touch, you can pretty much say very-much-attached, all through-out the time. And he did spend his Hari Raya in September with me. I even got invited to his house, personally by his mother, which I did go to. Aawwhh. Ain't that cool? Wait, did you get the invite too? Eh, I forgot. They dislike you. My bad. Sorry!

Hoi. What's your 6 months, compared to my 3 years? Fuck, woman, can't you see? This is one battle you'll never win.

P/P/S:

Yes, thanks to you, though, we are currently very much happy with what we have now, and how things are going. (We meaning the loved one, and I). want proof? Just to rub it in.

eh, i changed my mind about posting the picture. Wouldn't want to make you cry now would I? Okay. So please, for fuck's sake, get the fuck out of our lives! Oh, I would advice you, just so you wouldn't get disappointed, stop trying to text him. Fat chance he'll ever reply to your texts. You think we didn't know you've been cussing and swearing him behind his back? Smart-asses. That's what we are. We have one new thing we have in common now, an addition to the list. We loathe you woman. Get that pinned in your head.

options.

2009-11-17T14:48:00.005+08:00

have you ever felt like you were just an option in someone's life? it sucks to be in that position. i know. some people take you easy, perhaps because unconciously, you allow them to. you would end up thinking, why is this being done to me, when the fact of the matter is, you were the reason behind it all. you were the one who had them thinking, when it comes to you, things are going to be fine. things are always fine. no wonder you get stepped on every time.

sometimes, you wish things never happened the way it did. but as they say, there's a reason to why God allowed for those to happen to you. so you would mature. so you would learn. to appreciate what you have. to love what surrounds you. to acknowledge others. He takes things away from you for a moment to teach you a lesson, that not all things in life are easy, not everything remains pretty. there's always the ugly sight to everything and He wants us to see it, experience it, so we would come out to be a better person.

but if you were given the option, to turn back time, to go back to that particular point, when things you never wanted to happen, would you stop it? or would you just let it be, the way it was meant to be? would you avoid the chance, or would you risk changing the way your life would lead, if what should happen, didn't happen?

there's alot to weigh in there, is it not? if you were to stop what should happen, what guarantee is there that things will turn out great? what guarantee is there, that everything will be fine? what if everything takes a 180-degree turn and your life flips and goes down under? risks. everything has its risk. the utmost question remains, are you willing to take that risk?

let's get back to the present now, shall we? to the time when things have already happen. the time when you've seen the outcome. experienced the journey, took in the knowledge, opened your eyes to actually see the larger picture in life when you were dwelling on that small little piece. would you trade all that to go back to that point in life, now? go back, to hopefully banish all the nightmares, all those hurt and all the pain. would you?

or would you rather take the risk to experience new things, to discover what you never knew, take up the challenge that life has to offer you now? you're a different person now, someone new. reborn. if you go back, wouldnt you be all the same? think about it.

One emo post... coming right up!

2009-11-13T13:31:00.002+08:00

Insecure.
A word that defines me, in some cases, some part of my life.

Why?
Why do i feel insecure? Why do i let my insecurities get to me? I dont know. Wait, i do know. So yes, previously, i've been hurt, yes i've been wounded, not physically, but both mentally and emotionally. So i presume, it's not really a mystery to why i'm feeling all that. I know it's normal to be feeling like that once in a while, but having it come to you too often is something hard to handle. I go on a war with my insecurities, trying to battle it, topple it, kill it, but they're like zombies, they never die. I hate the fact that i'm feeling all insecure, because i end up hurting, not just me, not just my feelings, but the feelings of others, who i really, truly care for. Doesn't do me any good, doesn't do them any good either.

Am i having trust-issues? What i know is that i'm trying to build a wall around me, to protect my emotions, just so i wont't fall and hit myself hard on the ground again. But is it really working? I know i've put the layers down, trying to build a strong foundation for my wall, but i havent assembled the bricks up. A portion, maybe, but not all up yet. Why? Because i'm uncertain to whether i should have it up at all. Is it okay to have this wall surrounding me? What if it's not strong enough? What if someone breaks it? Whats the use of having it, if eventually, the bricks will fall apart? (should i build a wall out of stainless steel instead? heehee!)

Should i just let my emotions roam free, in that matter? Should i let it be, the way it should just naturally be, or should i shield it? Or perhaps maybe my emotions have their own shields, a strong one to protect them, perhaps the one like Bella's? (haha who am i kidding?) I'm a fragile being, but i know i've grown strong, to be able to actually replace the fragility in me to something tough, and hard. Am i doing just that right now? I don't know, and i'm not sure.

2009-11-02T12:02:00.002+08:00

MEND BACK WHAT'S FRACTURED BEFORE IT'S REALLY BROKEN. PLEASE.

puzzled. and down.

2009-10-22T08:57:00.002+08:00

that's exactly how i feel.
i dont know whether its because im stressed with the assignments, projects, and exams. or perhaps maybe there's another reason behind it.
i woke up with my eyes swollen. it rained last nite. thanks tasha, for comforting me. i love you.
mood's off today. things haven't been going right. maybe im just a little too emotional these past few days. can i blame it on my menses? ok.
i wanna sleep. but im in school. i wanna go home.

i need a hug. ='(

almost...

2009-09-30T21:52:00.003+08:00

Ain loves this song. =) this one's for you my dear.

p/s: i easily let people get in then jump right out of my life, don't i? hermph...

im uploading this here sebab i rasa kiut. =P

2009-08-31T11:19:00.003+08:00

-picture removed-

sorry peeps!

ini blog saya so suka hati saya la okay? =) haha! ngegeh melaram depan cermin besa rah paxen. ain, now u have a hensem gang okay? =)

supposedly, now, i should be doing my Process Principles assignment, which is due tomorrow. I haven't even started, because i have no idea on how to do the 3 questions. Can i cry?

mid-term's in two weeks time. im so left behind. bodoh belum sedar diri lagi. stupid FOCUS, i need you back! can i wind back time?

staying home

2009-08-04T09:33:00.007+08:00

since im staying home for a few days, and i'm left with nothing much to do, i decided to do this.

ini budak-budak curtin. celebrated Ellen's 21st birthday last week.

a picture of me with the birthday girl.

Group photo, pity Adrian, he got cut off from the picture. waiter sajian warisan xda skill amik gambar!

the sisterhood. essehmen.

sandwiched between nick and tuffy. tuffy wanted to take pictures with nick, but nick wouldn't let me leave his side. thus, the squishing-seetah-in-between.

with mei wen.

this is tuffy. i like making faces when i take pictures, so yeah. =P

you should probably be wondering why is it that im staying home, since everyone else is in school attending classes. let me shed some light unto you.
for the past four days, i've been feeling feverish, my body's aching, and i started getting headaches.
my asthma attack has been frequent lately. not severe ones tho, mild ones.
two days ago, i caught flu, and my eyes get all watery.
yesterday, i start coughing.

So,
1. Fever - check
2. Body aches - check
3. Headache - check
4. Difficulty breathing, Asthma - check
5. Flu - check
6. Coughing - check

With the now-ongoing pandemic of the A H1N1 flu, i have like what? 6 out of 8 common symptoms. Wtf that's like more than half already!!!

Okay, so it was like this, actually. Yesterday i went to class as usual, although i know i wasn't feeling so good. Sensed something wasn't right, but i tried shaking off that feeling. My flu was bad that morning, to add it all up, i started coughing. So my friends were concerned (of course la, with the disease going around, curtin lagi, with all the international students and what not), and they told me i should go and get myself checked-up. Texted my mom, told her that my friends are telling me i have most of the symptoms. So she told me to go to the health center on campus, and i did just that right after class.

The health officer, Sheryl Mattu was so sweet when she welcomed me in. "Hello dear, you're not feeling well today are you?". Told her what's wrong with me, how i felt and everything. She took my temperature, and told me i was at the higher end of normal. Then, with a nice and sweet and caring voice, she said "Oh dear, it seems that you're on the way to getting the flu." Oh crap! Nice way to make me feel all calm and not panicky, no? So i asked her, should i go to the clinic and see the doctor and all. She said if my temperature is still in the normal range, there's no need to. She said to come by everyday to get my temp checked.

As soon as i got out, i rang my mom. Met up with her at the cafeteria, and told her what Sheryl told me. "Mak! She told me i was on the way to getting the flu!". Mom said to go to the clinic, and so i did. But the stupid thing is i went alone. I drove all the way to and fro Dr. Arif's, alone with my stupid headache where at times i feel like my veins were about to pop! I guess luck was on my side that i didn't lose control of the car or fainted while driving because i have been passing out quite a number of times lately which i dont know why. Note to self: if u'r sick, don't drive.

Dah i check-up, Dr. Arif didn't say anything tho, i guess he didn't want to cause panic, but his looks were really concerned. He gave me sick-leave for two days. The symptoms were there. Most of it. I'm a suspected case. Bongok ada orang dah mati in miri because of this! Best la sangat. A really nice way to start the semester. Last week was already a horrible week for me, and now this! Thank you very much i dont know what to expect next.

I went home, trying not to think about it. Made fun of the sakit, made fun of myself, trying to sound all happy and told myself it was nothing, and i'll be okay in no time. I did just that for the next few hours, until... my tummy didn't feel so good and i wanted to vommit. "Vommitting? Fuck, now that's another one, no!" i restrained myself from vomitting because if i were to do another check-up, i don't want them to put a nice big TICK on the check-list for vommitting, along with all the other symptoms. Then, i freaked-out. I cried. Like seriously, bodoh, i cried because i was scared and freaked-out like if you were in my shoes you'd pee and poop in your pants like wth!

Couldn't sleep soundly last night. Mom came in to check-up on me, check on my temperature. Woke up this morning, feeling all the same. Badan panas sikit kot. I made sure i took my meds this morning. I just hope everything's gonna be fine. Gila doa banyak2 now.

I love you people. I wanna go read some lecture slides now. Eh, no... Sick-leave bah. i should rest, hoh? Heehee. Sayang you all kuat-kuat!

...

2009-07-09T07:49:00.000+08:00

i've got nothing left to hold on to...

only God knows how I feel...

emo

2009-07-08T11:09:00.003+08:00

my posts have been all emo kan for the past few months? ntah. my feelings are still all mixed up, susah mok detach kan. my emotions are like strings you know, once it gets all jumbled, its hard for me to untangle them.

im still trying to figure things out, and do whatever is best for me. everyday, i've been asking from HIM, the Almighty. i asked to be given the strength, i asked to be given the courage, i asked for him to do what's best for me, and i asked for him to show me what's right, and what's wrong.

rasanya, petunjuk ya maseh sesat jalan kot. HE's trying to show me something, but it's not really clear yet. i guess i'll have to try harder, and upgrade lagi whatever it is that i'm doing right now. i really need help in making the right decision. i don't want to regret at the end of the day. i want to leave, saying that i tried my very best.

complicated kan, my situation? i've been trying to make it less complicated, but i end up feeling all confused. i want to complain, but there are still things that i have to keep to myself. hermph. i feel shitty la.

why?

2009-07-07T15:10:00.002+08:00

after a long week of trying to stay strong, i broke down again today. still, it's an achievement la kan? before i could only last two days, then on the third i'd cry my eyes out.

is it wrong for me to think too much today? i like to analyze things and lay out the possibilities. this past week i've been trying to stay away from things and get my mind off them. but why did i break down today? limit dah sampai kot?

i don't know why i'm letting myself be treated this way. i don't know why i feel like it's still worth trying. they keep telling me, i shouldn't let myself get stepped all over. it's unfair. but i don't know why, my heart still wants me to stay.

i keep letting you in. is that wrong? i feel guilty if i abandon you right when you need me. i don't wanna hurt you.

i wish

2009-06-29T19:52:00.002+08:00

i wish i could just ignore everything.
i wish i could just pretend that nothing happened.
i wish i could just stand up strong and say i'm okay.
i wish i could just move on and let go *snap* like that.

sometimes i wish i had magic powers. how i could just wave the wand and make all the hurt in me go away. kan best if like that?

i wish i was just a little baby. nothing to worry about, just have fun and go all gugu gaga. i can cry when i want to. i can laugh just because someone makes funny faces. i can act cute all i want.

but all of that, is just not possible. i'm all grown up. i have things to worry about. lots to think about. life isn't as carefree as it used to be back when i was a little child. trials come. trials go. one that i'm going through now is one of the hardest i've encountered so far.

why? because it involves feelings. my feelings. and the feelings of others. i can yapp and yapp to people on how to handle things when hard time comes, but when it happened to me, i become, lost. i lost my sense of judgement, i lost my will, i became weak and i felt like i wanted to just poof out of the world. but i know, no matter how hard things are, i still have to face them. i still have to live with them.

i cry, i sulk, i weep almost all the time. i try to be strong. i managed to stay strong a day or two, but then, i break down again. why? i don't know. things like this, it takes time, i know. i don't expect it to be over right then and there, but i wish so badly it would end soon. i know i shouldn't be too hard on myself, but the thing is, things fall hard on me. if you were in my shoe, you'll know what i mean. and don't even think that what happened to me is what happens to everyone. no. it's not even close.

no sleep. how?

2009-06-26T08:52:00.002+08:00

i haven't had much sleep last night. in fact, i couldn't sleep at all. tried every position, tried every prayer, tried everything, but i just couldn't get myself to sleep.

things are just still bothering me. no matter how hard i try pushing it away, it finds its way back to me. no matter how hard i try to eliminate everything, it comes back for me.

im tired of this. i could go crazy because of this. i need help. i seriously do. i might be going out of my mind. if this goes on i might just do something stupid.

a thank you note, and a story.

2009-06-25T23:15:00.005+08:00

"don't let ur sorrows eat u up kay? u didn't lose. u gave up cos it's not worth fighting for."

"the path ur taking now may be full of thorns seetah but it propels u to move forward, and maybe then, u can enjoy ur roses kan?"

lala just knows what to say, everytime. =)

thank you.

3 posts in a day, wow. okay.

so i met up with one person who never fails to put a smile on my face, ever since i got to know him years back. reminds me of the good old times i used to spend in school with him. i would always bring my digicam to school and he would always be like "sis, ambik gamba juh." i remember him giving me chocolates, and i remember how jealous my friends were because of that. getting special treatments. =) fara mesti ingat. he would always come up to me, sharing his problems. *ekhem* relationship problems *ekhem* and how i was always the DR. love. =) rindu kan, time time sekolah dolok? i was a happy person. it's not that i'm not one now, i just haven't found that happy person i used to be. not yet. it takes time. but i know, im happy when im with him. =)

Syamil Izwan, thank you for being there for me when i was down. thank you for making me laugh, and thank you for putting an ear-to-ear smile on my face everytime we meet up. =) yes i sayang you. you're a brother i never had. eh eh, but, cannot spend too much time with you. boleh masok hospital sakit jiwa because of you! haha! =))

im taking baby steps

2009-06-25T18:33:00.002+08:00

yes. im taking baby steps to move on.

i've had one of the most traumatic experiences in my life, which happened to me just recently. im hurt. really hurt. i've been down, and i haven't been myself along the period that this thing has happened. i need not name anybody. who knows will know, and who doesn't, will be left wondering.

i've learnt for a fact that hopes shouldn't be put on up high. because the higher you put it, the harder you fall. (hukum fizik okay. =P) my hopes, and my then dreams were crushed to tiny bits and pieces. perhaps it was because of me, perhaps it was because i was impatient. perhaps it was because of that other person. perhaps it was because that person wasn't doing enough to make me stay. i've lost hope already, and i can't bear to go through all of this any longer.

i guess, the time really has come for me to actually move on, and find my direction in life. perhaps, this is what's best for me at the moment. i've tried everything in my will to fix what is broken, and i guess there's nothing much left that i can do. at least i know i've tried, and i've tried hard enough already.

just saying and blurting things out isn't enough. you need to at least show. show that what you've said were true. i guess you just couldn't do it. perhaps maybe you didn't want to do it. perhaps whatever it is that you've said, were just to ease the hurt in my heart.

im too hurt by all of this. but then, life goes on, right? perhaps Allah has better plans for me. perhaps HE's just trying to show me there's more to life. i deserve to be happy. and i deserve to be treated better. i deserve to be appreciated. and i never deserve to be taken for granted.

still, thank you. i know you don't check out my blog anymore. but just in case you're reading this. thank you. i appreciate everything you've done for me. i guess, we're just not meant to be. not now, at least. if we are, we'll meet again at the end of the road. for now, i'll just have to lead my own life, and figure things out. i need to start taking care of myself now, and put myself first in everything i do.

time will tell.

okay lala this one's for you

2009-06-25T15:59:00.003+08:00

i have finally found the courage to bid my romantic dreams goodbye.

this one's for lala. it may not be the best, but, i hope you'll like it nonetheless. =) and i suck at low notes. forgive me for i do not go to any vocal classes. =P

on the verge of breaking down and giving up

2009-06-23T14:03:00.003+08:00

has the time come for me to give up?
has the time come for me to actually lead my own life?
has the time come for me to learn to ignore?
has the time come for me to learn not to care?

tell me. if what has been said by you were true, then show me. i just don't see it right now. perhaps if i be gone would you then realise?

i dont wanna regret at the end of the day. but i know i've tried. i've tried hard. maybe it's still not enough.

im already at the edge of the cliff. its up to you to save me from falling. its up to you to not let me be gone.

susah hati

2009-06-09T19:26:00.005+08:00

i know i'm supposed to be studying right this very moment. but i just felt like letting things out for a moment here. my next paper's on friday. mathematics. i hope i'll do fine this semester. i seriously need to pass. i tak nak repeat okay?

something's really bothering me. i'm feeling uncertain. i don't know why. can you tell me? my emotions have been going up and down these past few days. i can't blame it on stress. owh, i know, maybe i'm about to have my period. aah. that explains. hmm.

im scared. i really am. im very scared. there's something playing in my head, i just can't get it off my mind. being in a situation like this, is really hard for me. but then again, i will still have to try. i'll try, and i'll try hard. i hope to see the good coming from all of this.

patience is a virtue. i have to be patient. and i must not get all emotional. i cannot. not at this moment. i have to be strong. i can only hope for the best. i really am praying hard for this.

depression mode : ON!

2009-06-05T13:01:00.002+08:00

first paper is in 3 days time! killer subject, electrical system! then there's maths, and programming (another killer subject for me!) and last paper's chemistry! help!

i've been having all the pre-exam stress symptoms. i have had both the emotional and mental breakdown the past few days. kak lin texted me "hang in there." yeap, that's exactly what i'm doing.

haven't been eating right for the past three weeks. i feel... ntah. sangat tidak ada appetite. langsung. when i feel like i wanna eat, i go cari food, but then when i am about to eat the food, or halfway through, i feel like throwing up. stress. gila stress. ada kaitan issit? future doctors, shed me some light on this! =P

i seriously want the exams to be over soon. i so need to get out of Miri. told my parents i want to go off to kuching and meet tasha. they didn't say no, so yeah, im assuming it's okay la. owh sera, sabah bah? =P then i want to go to brunei, catch up with my cuzn fidz. she's telling me to get my ass in brunei because at the moment the other cuzn's are on holiday and they're back from around the world. or maybe i shud get away to bintulu and babysit zaquan instead. i'll be more than willing to do that! baby zacq, angah miss you so much! i seriously feel like running away, for a month? yeah! okay. maybe my whole cuti. get away from things, just for a while. won't hurt, right? it's not like anyone would care and notice my absence. =)

pray for me people, and wish me all the best. things have been hard lately for me. and i need all the support i can get! =) i love you people! =)

i miss this. =)

2009-05-28T22:11:00.003+08:00

went out with them babes. happy? yes. had fun? definitely. at least it got a few things off my mind for a moment. =)

did alot of catching up. we were supposed to go bowling, instead we ended up chit-chatting at McDonald's, laughing our asses off, gossiping and doing all the funny funny things girlfriends do. teehee. thank you girls. i lovee you people! =)

2009-05-27T19:34:00.002+08:00

Saya Rindu!

let me just clarify

2009-05-24T20:12:00.002+08:00

eh! i swear to god i sang in the video i posted!
like seriously!
i didnt lipsynch, like wat my friend said. (my webcam wasnt really okay, that explains why my lips look like its moving slower than the actual one!)
and no, amy lee's voice don't sound like that okaayyy~!!
believe me please!
come up to me if you dont believe, i'll sing for you. as long as you play the guitar for me. =)) owh i miss walter, gila kenangan form 4 youuuu~! (budak kolej mesti ingat kan~ =))

mari menyanyi

2009-05-24T09:34:00.002+08:00

my immortal, evanescense.

an all-time favourite. at the moment, this song is so dekat di hati.
and and and i posted this untuk fatin to see. teeheehee.

please lower down your speaker volume if you intend to listen to this. i wouldn't want to be blamed for broken or shattered windows, or anything glassy. ngee. =))

hee, saya sempat batok2 and i might have screwed a few parts. it's a one take thing. so sukahati la okay. =))

and owh, fatin taught me a new word today. kesweetetan. so cute. haha! i miss you la! =)) *hugs*

silap saya

2009-05-23T23:08:00.002+08:00

silap saya sebab saya minum kopi.
silap saya sebab saya tidak dapat tidur.
silap saya sebab tidak focus belajar.
silap saya sebab saya layap dengan facebook.
silap saya sebab semangat saya belum datang.

hahaha!
adoh adoh.
tolong tolong.
saya mahu belajar.
tapi setan mengganggu.
ada suggestion doa belajar?
apart from the ones we used to baca at school? heehee!

=))

2009-05-21T21:04:00.002+08:00

mothers give the best advice.
and the warmest, most sincere, filled with love hugs.
thanks mamak.
i love you.

yes, i am mommy's little girl. =))

kejam.

2009-05-20T19:27:00.002+08:00

org selalu kate, dunia ni kejam. to me, tak. org kat dalam dunia ni yg kejam.

bile kite tak buat jahat kat org, org buat jahat kat kite. kite tak kacau pun hidup die, die kacau hidup kite. ape kes? dengki kot. suke nak tengok kite fall down helplessly. jahat.

okay, my malay sangatlah fail. mari get back to madah dalam version inggeris.

hard time comes to ones who are strong. there is always a reason to why things happen. sometimes you get it right away, sometimes you don't. but you will, along the road, know why it happened. you will just have to wait.

maybe things happen to show you that, little things are not meant to be taken for granted. maybe things happen to show you that, when you are already comfortable at one point, it doesn't mean that you can feel secure. maybe things happen to show you that, anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, to anyone.

sure, you feel hurt. sure, you feel weak. sure, you feel lost. for how long? it all depends on you. if you don't get up now, when will you? it takes time, that's for sure. it could be just a moment, or maybe it could take forever. but eventually you will rise up again. work for it, in time, you'll be able to get through with it.

when you're hurt, the stupidest thing to do is to hurt yourself. avoid that. why add up to what is already there? lose it. lessen it. if you can't throw the hurt away, put it aside for a while. gather up the strength in yourself, because you'll need all that you can have.

but don't let go. don't. it hurts. what can be done is just to loosen the grip. bit by bit, so you won't hurt so much. it'll break loose one day, give it time. loose the grip, but hold on, just gently, not tightly. hey, who knows, things will turn around, and you get pulled back? Right? who knows time will come that you'll hold on tightly once again? it can happen.

for the mean time, take things as it is. hope for the best, and pray hard. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. if you have faith in it, insyaAllah, it will be. stay strong. give yourself time, and always be reminded that if you can't help yourself, no one can.

"remember seets,falling down is not a defeat, real defeat is when you refuse to get up.i hope that helps!!peace!" - Fatin Azalea.

confused? perhaps i am.

2009-05-18T23:59:00.001+08:00

life's pretty messed up at the moment. everything seems to be falling apart. everything's falling into pieces. not into place.

perhaps, i hoped too much. perhaps i clung on too long. perhaps i held on too tight.
where did it go wrong? i don't know. i don't have the answer to that at the moment. i have yet to figure that out. perhaps i won't, perhaps i will.

i've tried, at least i know i did. things happen, and maybe, i guess it's for the better. i wasn't well prepared, and that's my fault. i'm learning to accept it. true, i need time. but i'm not gonna let all these feelings conquer me and bring me down.

im strong and i know that. my friends know that. =)) so people, don't worry okay? you guys know i can handle things well. =)) you'll get me back in no time. i promise! =)) the strength's just hiding from me these past few weeks, but i've found it now.

and to you. im not sure you'll be reading this, but oh well. thank you for everything. you still mean so much to me, just so you know. we've shared so much, for heaven's sake. maybe i got you wrong, but i have my limits. perhaps it's time for me to have my time now. =)) i'm sorry. let's both be happy okay? im giving you what you want. so take it.

i dont wanna think too much. and im not gonna think too much. please remind me to do just that everyday. okay people? =)) i love youu! =))

it's true.

2009-05-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

John Legend - Ordinary People

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
Maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight,
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go(hey)
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
Take it slow
Take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

choices

2009-05-14T12:08:00.004+08:00

If you were to be asked this question, what would your answer be? Who would you choose to be with? Someone you love, or someone who makes you happy? "Oh, that's easy. Of course I'll stick to the one i love!", you would say. It may seem easy, but that's not always the case. When you're stuck in a situation like this, it's hard to choose. Things would be running through your mind, and you would be trying so hard to think deeply, to get things right and decide what is really the best choice for you.

Should i be with someone who makes me happy?
This is the person who makes your day. This is the person who is able to put a smile on your face. This is the person who you would turn to when you're down. This is the person who you feel you would be able to find happiness with. This is the person that you WANT. But then again, how long will this last. Is it just temporary? Or will that person be there for good? Will you start something new? Can you?

Should i be with someone i love?
This is the person who loves you. This is the person who cares about you. This is the person who you have been sharing your life with, who understands you. This is the person who you have been through so much with. This is the person who has always been there for you. This is the person you NEED. Although so, you still feel like there is something that's missing. Why aren't you happy? Perhaps you need new excitements. If you can't find it, can you still go on with this person? Will you?

So you see, in a real situation, things are hard. Feelings are complicated. Sometimes they play with you, sometimes they are right.When feelings are involved, there will surely be ones that will hurt.In this case, you can't have both, so someone has to go. At this point, it's up to you to decide, so choose wisely. Make sure you don't hurt the wrong person. And one last thing; when you have made your choice, just make sure you won't regret in the end.

The person you WANT? or the person you NEED? Take your pick.

lost

2009-05-11T09:13:00.003+08:00

i like the feeling of waking up in the morning. its because that's the only moment when i dont have to think much about things. the feeling of having ur mind all cleared up, just that one short period of time, is more than enough to get me to start my day.

alot of things are going through my mind now. and i just dont know how to express it. should i? or should i not? is it okay if i put it into words? or should i just hold back and push all that thought deep inside? im confused. these past few weeks have been rough. im having a hard time.

im depressed. im burned-out. i dont know what i have become. i've turned cold? im not myself? aemi sees that something is wrong with me. even ain can sense that. i wish i could tell, but i couldnt for now. i dont wanna think about it, i dont wanna care. i noe i cant ignore it, i musn't. but im LOST.

i feel...

2009-04-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

so im on my 2-week holiday now. one week's almost over omg omg! another "short" week to go. why i say short? it's cause i have loads to do! my mid-term's coming up! electrical systems & engineering programming.

went to campus yesterday to do some studying (chewah bajet rajin la tek). managed to read up on E.S and made up to the subject by "hopefully" being able to understand things up to lecture 5. kirchoff's law? thevenin's theorem? nodal analysis? insyaAllah dah habis dan bakal faham. why bakal? i have not really done any past year questions and belum revise the tutorials. jadi, bakal la. okay? =P

after i got tired with E.S, i TRIED reading and understanding programming.

int main(void)

{

double distance, theta, theta_2, time, mu, length;
mu = 0.5;
length = 50.0;

printf(“input the angle of decline in degrees “);
scanf(“%lf”, &theta);
printf(“input the time the block has been sliding for in seconds “);
scanf(“%lf”, &time);

if (time < 0.0)

{
distance = 0.0;
printf(“warning, time < 0.0\n”);
}

else

{
conversion = 3.141592 / 180.0;
theta_2 = conversion * theta;
distance = 0.5 * time * time * 9.81 *
(sin (theta_2) - mu * cos(theta_2));
if (distance > length)
distance = length;
}

printf(“distance travelled is %lf\n”,distance);

}

rasa mok muntah blaja programming because satu apa pun sik paham! bulaak jwaaak~ hwahwa. it's not that i don't get it at all. i just, am slow with things like these. give me maths questions or balancing chemical equations, perhaps i might be able to solve it. but programming? aduh. declare? debug? double? long? float? compile? run? aduh its driving me nuts! what with all the codes lagik! aduuh aduuh. it might be easy for you out there, but it's not for me. i have no basic knowledge at all on programming it makes me pening! now that rhymed! haha.

seriously im struggling this semester. with 5 units, 4 are exam-based, i think i'll die trying to suck in everything in my brain. oh please please please tolong. any geniuses out there, perhaps you people can inject your genius-ness in me. that would really really help!

a day well spent

2009-03-30T22:05:00.007+08:00

3 different groups of people

3 different places

3 different cakes

all for 1 purpose.

heehee. thank you thank you thank you.
i can't thank u guys enough for everything.
*big big bear hugs* hehe.

Thank you Nisa, for the birthday call aaaalll the way from India till u ran-out of credit. I love you sgt sgt.

Thank you so so much for everyone who wished me on that day, or the next. Ain, Sera, Azie, Fara, Shane, Adek Syg, Asasians, Zul, Curtin's, ex-kolejians, everyone! Thank you thank you thank you from deep down in my heart, because you people have put a smile on my face. And thank you for reminding me that i'm getting old and wrinkly. =P

I slept very very very late on the eve of Earth day but i woke up very very very early on the next. All because i was trying to fully utilize my time. I was thrown a suprise "Breakfast-Birthday Party" by my friends. Now this is what you call sacrifice. Tell me, any of your friends would wake up so early in the morning just to bring you out for breakfast and throw u a surprise birthday? It was so sweet of them to trade their sleeping hours just to make my day! =)) i heart you people! Thanks boys, and thanks girls! I loved the gift, and I sure did love the cake! Too bad i didn't take any pictures of it. Owh, I was thankful enough we had no cake-throwings and water-balloon splashing on that day. Although that would have been fun, but in a public place? And, early in the morning? No thank you. Haha!

Credits to Zat Fero for the pics.

So in the afternoon, I had another celebration with the family. And another cake along with it. Mommy cooked my favourite! Spaghetti! Her spaghetti is THE best! We celebrated among ourselves, and with my gila sporting aunt and very sekoh cousin. Too bad the rest of the family in Pujut 2 and Riam couldn't make it. Owh owh, although i was the one being celebrated, I was still cinderella. Because my brothers were the evil step"sisters" who are sOo lazy with house chores and whatever it is that has got to do with cleaning up because they're like that wth. I feel like wanting to piak-piak them and all but I was in a very very good mood and I didn't wanna spoil my day.

Owh, as I have mentioned, I was Cinderella right? So at night, I went to meet my Prince Charming. Only that in this version, my Prince Charming fetched me from home, and I was in a Kenari. Not a sparkling coach with six white horses, no. Miri, where can find sparkling coach and horses? U tell me! Kambing ade la. Haha! Okay okay. So, i didn't exactly went to a ball and dance with Prince Charming. I was the very hungry-although-she-had-already-stuff-herself-with-tonnes-of-food-earlier Cinderella. We went to the royal dining hall and i had the most royal-ee treatment from dear prince. Owh, no, I did not eat in the dark. (Just so u asked.) Miri wasn't very Earth-hourly as I thought it would be. I was expecting some temporary-black-out dinner, but it didn't happen. Lights were still on everywhere. Some places even brighter. Earth-Hour la sangat, kan? Haha!

I had fun the whole day, and I think I smiled till the muscles on my face got tired. Thank you for the most wonderful birthday I've ever had so far. *hugs* owh, wanna see my gifts? Hehehe.

The cake from the family. Abg chose this, which explains what is stated on the cake. You wouldn't expect my mom to have it written like that, no?

THIS is from the friends. Thanks Arthur, I heard you were the one who chose this. Thanks Jaclyn, Ellen, Jia Yue, Mei Wen, Fero, Redzuan, Nick, Jun Xian, See Keat and... who else aa?

And of course, these lovelies are from the darling. =)) I loveee you!

Note to readers.

Jangan jealous okay?!? Hehehe! =P

6 days to go! =)

2009-03-22T12:00:00.002+08:00

6 days to go till Earth Day people! Also known as Seetah Day! (cheh, mentang-mentang sama date la kan?) how will the people all over the world be celebrating my day again? blergh.

imagine this, it's ur day, and u'r having this romantic dinner, u order ur food around 8pm, they arrive around 830, and all of a sudden the lights go off. surprise surprise! it's Earth Day! makan bertemankan lilin cake yg sgt la pendek (can't even blow the candles on ur cake, cuz u depend on it for light!), for the whole one hour, ( i bet the candles wont last that long, its short!) and and and, when u wanna suap ur bebeh, u end up tercucok his hidung instead cz u cant see, as its pitch black! (in the case where the candles padam habis ok?) // now this is what i call, a real candle light dinner! keeeeeehhhheeeeheee.

haha! okaaay okaaay. i don't have anything against Earth Day alright? Intro sekadar mengimagine worst-case scenario. hehehe. Fun apa, on ur birthday, everybody else in the world is celebrating it together with you (cheh, perasan, rasa mcm artis la konon. =P heeeeheeee). they remember you by switching the lights off for one hour. it's a good thing okay. =) haha.
so yeah, in less than a week, i'll turn the big 2-0! omg omg omg! im getting old! eek! i hope im not too busy with assignments and stuff that i'll forget my birthday! I did intend to forget, i dont feel like turning 20 yet ba! (sgt in denial.) haha! eh sahabat handai sekalian, i can forget, u can't okay? make sure u remember, if not i'll bite and shred you to pieces. cuz I Am... Seetah Fierce. hahaha.

owh, i wont really call this a comeback, not yet maybe. i didnt have much things to do today. that's why you see this being posted up. =)) till next time! =)

wide smiles on happy faces.

2008-12-10T16:59:00.001+08:00

=)))
i wanted to post this last nite but i guess i got too carried away with something. ngee.
results are out! and im happy as a free bird. whaa? haha! =))

baby zacQ i LOVE you!

2008-12-09T22:28:00.002+08:00

isnt he just the cutest thing? i miss him already! kak long, mok pinjam zaquan seminggu jak gik boleh? hehe. =P

written out of boredom

2008-11-20T17:39:00.002+08:00

this is what u see when u'r on the 6:30 am flight to kl

i miss those flights back to kl... though i hated leaving home then, a part of me was still excited because i can't wait to meet them friends. i can't wait to have my favourite kk12 teh ais cincau, i can't wait to just be in room D550 and and and lie down on the ever-so-seductive comfy bed in room D508! huhu.

planned to go to kl year end, but unfortunately, its off. tickets are mad expensive! so much for "now everyone can fly" huh? everyone your head. and and and "all inclusive LOW fares"? LOW la sangat. haha. okay okay, so it's my fault i didn't book the tickets earlier. but don't go cekik-ing darah la. kesian my friends there okay? they miss me so much. ( ahah! perasan-ness! =P)

well instead of spending my money on the two-way tickets, i'd be happily (i hope) splurging them, shopping at kuching. yes. im going to kuching. last i've been there was what? 5 years ago? and that wasn't for holiday-ing. i went because my english drama team was representing miri in the state competition. *ekhem* applause! applause! *ekhem* haha. =P good times~ gooood times~!

kuching people, get ready. see you this weekend! (i cant wait to see tasha! wee! make sure ktk sambut kmk k red carpet okay? ahaha!) and owh, fara, u'll be in kuching jwak kan? who noe's we can meet up! =))

2008-11-15T18:30:00.002+08:00

i thought you knew me well...

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

i guess you still don't.

let's get organized

2008-11-14T23:05:00.002+08:00

i did some spring cleaning today! (okay, i noe it's not spring, but it is when i say it is! =P)

my room has been very very patient with the way i've been treating it lately. i left it in a state of mess these past few weeks. it's either i have no time to do any cleaning, or i'm just to tired, what with the projects, assignments and exams i had. but but but it's super duper clean today! okay. maybe not, but i tidied up everything!

aah, the thing i like most when school ends is the stash-or-dump session i have at home. in my room to be exact. usually i have a box ready for me to dump everything in but in today's case, i didn't. stacked them up under the side table beside my bed instead. i remember back during my high schools years, as soon as i reach home, on the final day of school, the first thing i did was i made sure my study table and my bookshelf is spotless! as in, bookless/paperless/etc. talk about being so semangat habis sekolah! haha!

i even cleared out the things on mr lappy today. updated this and that. especially the songs i downloaded. you know, sometimes, when you download a song, some songs just so happen to only have the song title or even worse, named "track 1". true? it annoys me, really. when you have that played on your music player, be it on the laptop, ur phone or in the car, it doesn't look nice when it displays " unknown artist - track 01". okay, now don't tell me that does not annoy you. hoho. i would go thru aaall the hassle just to rename and make sure i get all the details right. well, to at least have the artist and song title is good enough. =)

hmm. i like cleaning up. and having things organized. call me compulsive, but i like to see things neat and tidy. it gives me a feeling of satisfaction, u know? heehee.

owh. im playing around with blog templates, so there are going to be changes every now and then. i haven't actually found what i'm looking for. hermph. any good sites you can recommend? i've no idea on how to work with the codes: html or wtv it is u call it. why go thru figuring all that out when u can just copy-paste-&-apply? true enuff? hoho.

a monster tagged me!

2008-11-13T16:08:00.003+08:00

im so gonna kill nazia for this.

1. Take a recent picture of yourself or take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing.
4. Post these instructions with your picture.
5. Tag 5 people to do this.

wait for it...

wait for it.....

tada!!!

okay. i noe i noe. the tag said one. but i decided to put up 2. cuz nazia posted 2. haha. grr. imma bite u, u babymonster! it jz so happen when i baruk lepas kemas rumah i read ur post. nice la sgt ur timing. haha! =P

see my "haluansiswa asasi" t-shirt! haha. i miss UM! n the peeps.

okay okay. time to name the victims.

1. arif! ( i miss u. so pls put up one very funny pic for me to laugh at. haha! kidding! =P)
2. ina
3. aiyeeeeeeeeeeen
4. effa has done this so i cant tag her.
5. im not sure about fara.
6. can i add another one? hyder! =)

smart move on making the victims list full eyy? wahaha. =P
silalah buat, dengan senang hati. =)

YIPPIE YAY!

2008-11-13T12:13:00.003+08:00

sorry for the very very very very late update. my blog is not dead, it was just on vacation for a liitle while. okay, maybe longer. hwahwa. blogs need holidays too okaayy! =P

well, these past few weeks, i've developed a very very close relationship with textbooks, lecture notes, tutorial papers, and past year exam questions. it was a serious one, up till yesterday. i broke up with them. you know why? cuz exams are finally over! wahaha. i am officially on holiday! weehee!

i cant believe i managed to go thru one semester in curtin. i doubted that i can survive when i first entered, but i did! awesome! ahaha. a few moths back, when i was out with sera and lala, sera asked me "so how's curtin?", i was still in denial. i didn't even want to admit that im a student there. funny, i know. you cant blame me for being that way. well maybe it was because i was trying so freaking hard running away from that Uni (which explains why i was in PASUM doing my foundation). I was left with no choice but to go and further my studies in curtin. Well that part of my past needs no explanation. What's done, is done. i remembered, before the semester commenced, when people asked me "where did u get?" or "where's next?" or "what course will u be taking, and where?", i would have a fake smile plastered on my face and happily replied, "Owh, i'll be studying in Curtin, taking engineering."

Blergh. Nurisa knows so very very well how i had no heart in doing engineering. When i told her about it, she said "aieee~! kenak? bukan ko bersusah payah mok lari dari engineering ka dolok?" (translation: "wwhhyyy?? you tried so hard running away from engineering!") which was exactly what i expected. she knows me well enough to know how much i DO NOT want anything to do with engineering.

But as they say, people change, and their views on things change. I have finally come to accept the fact that i now am an engineering student. (it took me one whole semester youuu~!!) maybe because, i'm forced to. whether i like it or not. wuhu. but yeah, it isn't so bad. so far everything's been okay, minus the weird people and the physics based subject which i can never actually register to my brain, all my life. wahaha. i've made friends with great people here (one reason why i managed to survive, thank you thank you thank you!). =) hopefully things will go well next semester. anything can happen rite. owh. please please please pray that i pass my exams! i know i shouldn't be worrying about my results, not after i JUST finished with exams. but i am! especially my engineering mechanics! i hope i pass!

owh. since my holiday mode is now on, expect more updates... or not. ahahah! it depends. i have a few drafts unposted. heck i even forgot i typed those! ahaha. funny. but that's how i am. =P

2008-09-24T17:17:00.005+08:00

someone's getting a year "younger" today. =PP

*winks*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE~! =))

so i've been busy...

2008-09-17T20:02:00.003+08:00

Seetah's check-list

* EFPC Stage 1 & 2 report.... not check!
* EFPC Stage 1 document update... not check!
* Eng. Materials revision... not check!
* Eng. Maths tutorial... not check!
* Eng. Mechanics tutorial update... not check!
* sleep... not enough!!!

the list may be short but it's so much work. i feel like dying already here.

i was quite pissed today actually. having to deal with so much work, AND a freakingly annoying team member who never stops complaining and blaming others! it's not our fault u're having trouble doing things! just shut the f*ck up and deal with it if things don't go your way!!! who do you think you are? the boss of me? telling me to do this and do that? someone who you could just throw ur tantrums at? puh-lease! you have seriously gotten on my nerves. no wonder back in ur place no one liked you! i don't know how much longer i can stand you! eee!!! i feel like choking you to death! enough already!!! and stop finger pointing at others! u're not the only one having problems, okay? u make me sick!!!

phewh. there. keluar jugak. haha. =P

owh, i have site visit this saturday. to bintulu. 6 freaking hours to and fro, a few hours on the site, in 1 freaking bus with alot of freakingly noisy people who can't seem to shut their mouths up. ( : 1st site visit experience, 2 weeks back) tolonglah. im sleep-deprived. lemme sleep on the bus soundly, u can do the same too. i noe u haven't had enough sleep like me, so let's leave the talking some other time, shall we? hee...

okay okay, enough with the complaints. *skip skip* i wanna talk about something happy! =))

a couple of nites back, a dear friend of mine called me... aaaaallll the way from ipoh, and we talked for a good one hour (or maybe less). it would be my bad if his phone bill naik this month. (sorry! but i offered calling rite? hehe!)

the dear friend, and moi (sunway pyramid)

it has been so long since we last met. it was nice to actually hear from him, brought back all the good times back in PASUM. hyder was always nice to me. seriously. i don't noe, maybe it's just the way he is to others. i feel comfy arnd him and i can talk about stuff. hoh hyder hoh? i remember we spent one night talking on and on and on till it was like, i dont noe, 2? 3? in the morning? we were like the only 2 left at the cafeteria. he then had to teman me to the elevator at the girl's dorm and waited downstairs till my head pops out from the 5th floor, looking down, signalling him im alright and no ghost chased me (i was scared, okay~!). ahaha! thank you hyder! or, should i be calling you baldy? haha! m very grateful to have YOU as a friend! owh, owh! i'll go cari u when i start to gg (*ekhem*) ahaha! kiddin! =P

i miss u peeps la. i'll try to make time and fly to KL to see all of you again. okay? =))

tagged the setayel way. hoh ina hoh? =)

2008-09-06T23:30:00.003+08:00

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time : 11:35 p.m
Name : Seetah
Sisters : 1
Brothers : 4
Shoe size : 6
Height : 160cm?
Where do you live : Miri

Have you ever

Been on a plane : yes
Swam in the ocean : yes
Fallen asleep at school : most definitely, yes.
Broken someone's heart : i don't know. have i?
Fell off your chair : Yes. friends laugh first, and then laugh again. and then only they ask "you ok?" sheeesshhkebabs..
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yea...
Saved e-mails : yes
What is your room like : my baju belom susun, my books are everywhere...
What's right beside you : fone, patrick & teddy.
What is the last thing you ate : jagung Ligo!

Ever had
Chicken pox : yes yes. back in primary 2 if im not mistaken.
Sore throat : ooh. yes. and i so don't like it...
Stitches : so far no, alhamdulillah.
Broken nose : no.

Do you

Believe in love at first sight : hmm..
Like picnics : yes yes yes. nisa! bila gk??

Who was/were the last person

You danced with : myself. haha!
Made you smile : zaid
You last yelled at : lil bro.

Today did you

Talk to someone you like : yes yes.
Kissed anyone : no no.
Get sick : no no.
Talk to an ex : no no.
Miss someone : yes yes very the teramat sangat!

Who do you really hate: no one particular.

Random

Is there a person who is on your mind now : yes yes.
Do you like your hand-writing : yes yes. i like my rajin hand-writing. i dislike the malas one. huahua.
Are your toe nails painted : no no.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : mommy's. AND FATIN'S! i miss that pink bed! very... how'dya say that... tempting. when u see it, u wanna sleep dh.
What color shirt are you wearing now : im wearing my kaftan. or org sarawak say "baju kelebar" (pronounced ke-lay-bar)
Are you a friendly person : yes yes. very? haha.
Do you have any pets : no no.
Do you sleep with the TV on : no no.
What are you doing right now : im supposed to start on my report! but im doing this!!! aiee!!
Can you handle the truth : it depends, really.
Are you closer to your mother or father : my mother, no doubt.
Do you eat healthy : i'll indulge in junkies when i want.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : ...
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to: who? zaid // aemi. where? room.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : most of the time? LOUD! and clear. ahaha.
Are you confident : 50-50

5 things I was doing 10 years ago

1. i tekik the dinding to go ngaji next door.
2. i cycled to my silat class.
3. i lari like watson nyambek when this white doggy of my jiran tetangga chased me.
4. i asked my mom what is "datang haid". (see, i was so innocent back then, i knew nothing)
5. i sold leonardo dicaprio cards 50 cents each to my classmates. haha! good business!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire

1. shop shop shop with mommy dearie
2. i'd buy myself a fancy ride
3. i'd buy a house. wait wait. a mansion! hee.
4. i'd buy nisa air tickets so she'd come home every cuti and i wudnt be so bored stuck here in miri.
5. i'd invest and make more money out of it! wee!

5 of my bad habits

1. i procrastinate. ( ya, tidak dapat dielakkan, atau sengaja dilengah-lengahkan)
2. i crack--crack my tgn and wrist. i have this certain steps/moves to do this. hassy would noe. she'd look at me and then laugh when i do it. hwahwa.
3. i kentut when i feel like it. ahahahaha. =P sorry PASUM ppl! haha!
4. i am malas at times.
5. i'm easily distracted.

5 places I am living in

dalam rumah
pujut 8
miri
sarawak
malaysia

5 people i tag

nunu
lala
fara
effa
faten

ain't karma a bitch? we know blair waldorf is.

2008-09-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

haha. quoted from gossip girls 1st episode of the 2nd season, "Summer Kind of Wonderful". obviously u can tell that i just finished watching it. i noe... i shud be revising, doing short-notes and what not (mid-term's jz a few weeks away!!!), but i just simply can't resist! being a GG addict, of course you would wanna watch the new episode when u get ur hands on it right? right? teehee. owh. im still in love with Dan Humphrey btw, ahahah. P.D.A... u'll get what i mean when u watch it.

interesting, i would say. go watch. i wouldn't want to spoil it for you. (GG fans, i mean).

so yes, it's the third day of puasa, and im yet to crave for any food. it's still too early i guess. u see, every time during puasa, i would have this certain craving for food. i remember last year, back in PASUM, during Ramadhan, i wanted to eat mee kolok and and laksa sarawak. u cudn't find it there (well i can't), i mean, even if u do, it doesn't taste the same. thank god i came back just a week before Hari Raya (and by that time most of the stalls at the bazaar are already closed, balik kampong daa) and sempat la jugak i makan Miri's Bazaar Ramadhan's kolo mee and laksa sarawak. hwahwahwa. kalau beli kat kedai, no uummphh. hafto buy from the bazaar jugak. baru ada feeeeel puasa. true true? hwahwa.

i bet this coming three weeks will fly by fast, cuz... i dunno. with the assignments, tutorials, reports, exams and what not, 3 weeks might even feel like 3 days. okay, maybe not 3. 5? or 7? hwahwa.

aite aite. it's best that i get off to sleep now. wouldn't want to be eating with eyes shut during sahur. or as what us pasums call it, SupWhore. supper+sahor. hwahwa. asiah! risha! lala! arif! qayyum! i wanna suphor with u ppl! seetah rinduuuuu~!!!

2008-09-01T11:53:00.001+08:00

since Ramadhan is already here...

HAPPY FASTING PEOPLE!

may Allah bless you this Ramadhan.

Curtin International Cultural Day

2008-08-23T21:50:00.003+08:00

so yes, my one week holiday has officially started. and the day started pretty boring. i had nothing to do, except to complete tasks for Engineering Foundation Principle & Communication 100, EFPC100 in short. you can say i spent most of my time in my room on the bed in front of the laptop, typing, and thinking. the typing was easy, but, the thinking part, that was hard, man. my rusty brain didn't do any good although it has been lubricated and painted new. ahahah. wth. but yeah, managed to complete it in like... erm... 3? 4 hrs? i'd say? haha. =P

around 4pm, i went downstairs, cuz my mom "summoned" me. haha! =P kidding. she asked me "ktk xmok ikot g mall? curtin international cultural day aritok." (translation: u want to follow me to the mall? its the curtin international cultural day today). i fugured, why not? i've been locking myself in my room almost the whole day. going out won't do any harm.

so my mom, my dad and i went off to imperial mall at around 5pm. when we got there, the event has already started. i see the international students dancing and stuff. the bangladeshi, the pakistani, the indians, the africans, the sri lankan, the indonesian, the maldivian, the zimbabwe-ians? and etc. you should see the way the zimbabwe girls shake their bootay. i tell u, my ears were deafened by the "woooh!!" "waahh!!" and "weewitt" all around.

i personally liked the performance by the pakistani guys. wait, was it the pakistani? or was it the bangladeshi? oh well, i couldn't recall what the emcee said, and i cant seem to tell who's from where. what matters is, they can really dance, and the showmanship was like A++. one of them actually look like this hindustan hero, Hritik Roshan. the way he moves, and stuff, he's seriously into the beat. very shiok i tell u! haha! i noe everyone agrees with me when i say the songs from that side of the world are ones very hard-to-resist-shaking-ur-thang-thang type of songs. well, some. rite rite? i felt like joining them on stage, but then i'd ruin it all now, wudnt i? haha.

one thing i regretted is, i didn't take any pictures, what more to say videos of the event. it didn't occur to me, till only after all the performances ended. i didnt bring any digicam along, but my camera phone was just in my pocket!!! see how IN-TO i am with the dances and stuff? hehe.

well, the event today was the first of its kind i've seen, live. i wasn't here last year to see all these. events like this are very very interesting. u get to actually see their culture and stuff. they didn't just perform by the way. they set up booths too, about their country. see, interesting kan? can learn about them more. haha. i would like to see what would be in store for the next ICD. but for that, i'd have to wait till next year.

p/s: i read something on the filipono's booth. u see, it's their superstition that, if u leave the table before everyone finished eating, you will face trouble getting a partner! so people! dont leave the table unless everyone's done!

haha! =))

cheers! *mwah*

wee! update!

2008-08-22T20:00:00.004+08:00

ah, i bet someone out there's saying "finally! after so long!" or anything yg sama waktu dgnnya. hwahwa.

forgive me for i have not been updating. my blog's not dead yet! and i dont see any ulats eating my blog eyh nisa, do you? haha. =PP

so yes people, i've been busy... because now,

im officially a student at... ( for a month already)

but i still miss this one tho...

note: sorry for the picture quality. snapped it with my lousy phone. huhu. anyone kind enuff to get me a digicam like nisa's?

u noe, if people ask me about my previous education, i would easily say, with pride, that i was an ASASIAN. i mean, from PASUM. hwahwa. =P but but, now, im having troubles to actually admit the fact that im a Curtin student. i have yet to say that im proud to be one. i dont know why. give me time, okay? probably once i graduate? i suppose. hoho.

i called nisa the other day, telling her about how life is with me now.
new place, new faces, and a totally different atmosphere. sure i've made new friends, but something's just not right. i dont know. probably it's cuz i wish i was in UM, or my PASUM friends are here with me. at least someone i know. *sobs*

okay, okay, maybe im just abit too emo. =P things here aren't so bad. not so sucky la. i befriended a girl from China, MeiWen. she's such a nice girl. wait, lemme upload the pic.

tadaa~! that's meiwen.

hmm, let's see.

REWIND: back in UM...

i bring just papers and my pencilcase to class in my really big bag. i assure u i go to the PASUM library NOT MORE than THREE times. and and and, im the loudest girl on campus. perhaps, the friendliest too?

anyone wants to certify the statements? =)) (those who know me well would say all are true)

okay, so guess what?! you wont believe if i tell you this. or probably you'll say "whaaa??" or "seetah sufferred a major concussion and has now probably lost herself".

FAST FORWARD: current Uni...

u see, the beauty of getting into a new place is that u can be someone who's totally different. i said to myself, why not this time around i experiment with something. try to see how i'd do going around like this on campus. i'm a nerd by appearance here in Curtin. I bring my heavy back-pack around, i come early to classes, i can say i go to the library every day and i don't socialize much (well, yet). see, i fit the criteria of being a nerd, just that i lack the brain part. i need a genius' brain! future doctors-to-be, if u do come across cutting out someone smart's brain, let me noe, cuz i wud want that! haha! =PP

owh owh! one other thing you should know. i miss PASUM so much that i wear baju kurung to classes every single day! haha! =P baju kurungs are comfy waaaatt~~!! (okay, okay, so yes, another reason is im so malas to mix and match)

i just hope i can cope and get used to the life here. so far, it's okay, but assignments and tutorials are piling up like mad. thank god it's cuti time already! one week off! but i need to work on my engineering mechanics. *curses* why la that unit have to be so complicated and hard to get? grr.

so, friends, bear with me if i don't update that often. okay? but i promise if there's time, i'll update on how i am doing on this side, alright?

and KL people! i miss u guys so bad laaa. it's been what? close to 5 months already? i hope i can go fly KL some time soon. i nak book korg, go bwk i jln2. okeh? haha! *hugs*

till then!

friends

2008-06-26T17:23:00.000+08:00

when i sit alone gazing up at the ceiling (mind you, i don't have a see-thru ceiling for me to actually gaze upon the stars. hee!) i wonder,

am i the one who has changed much?

or the people around me are changing, drastically?

i have no answers to these questions.

let's leave that be.

so yes, nisa was here for 3 long weeks, and i only got to go for an outing or two with her. and that was 3-4 days before she flew back to kl. we did make plans earlier, but, everything didnt go right.
the 1st time - she texted me last minute, and i had plans with zaid.
the 2nd time - she said she has to postpone cuz her bro's leaving for kl n they have this family dinner.
the 3rd time - ( i don't remember what happened. nisa! pa jadi ha?).
the 4th time - nisa called me when i was in a middle of a date. haha.
the 5th time - ct and the rest couldnt make it.

it only came to the 6th time when we actually really meet up.
the 6th time almost never was, cuz i had a really bad stomach ache.
i was like "by hook or by crook tonite must go on! u are gonna get the hell outta my system cuz im going out wif nisa, no matter what". haha. (see. so nice of me, kan nisa? dudok atas jamban n do my thang. thank god u fetched me ahey ckit. =P) so much for planning a "ramai-ramai" outing. we ended up just going out, the two of us. actually nisa and i just got fed-up. haha. we did try to reach asylla that nite, she didnt answer her phone. so it was just the two of us, wandering about miri. from one end of miri, to the other. funny things happened that nite too. even spooky spooky ones. heeee. *nisa i will zip my mouth and not say a word to anyone about what happened in marina bay. unless if u're here to tell it too* hahaha. we had a good laugh. conversations about the people who's been in and out of our lives. the gossips. the usuals. haha. i miss u la sa. heeeee.

we went out again the day before she's off to kl. only now with asylla and a friend of nisa's, seha.
erm, let's just see pictures.

this was the u-and-me nite out

the rest are from the 2nd day out

nisa, my leb (asylla), n moi

AND! this is a MUST SEE! scroll down please

isnt she just cute? aAaAaAaWh~! haha. i noe she's gonna kill me for this. haha. =P

ENOUGH ALREADY!

2008-06-02T23:33:00.005+08:00

Is it a crime to be someone big-sized? Is it? Tell me! Is it wrong for someone to be chubby? Is it?

Some people are just too insensitive. They don’t realise how much they can hurt others. Ergh! Others, referring to: ME!

GIVE ME A BREAK! Im tired already. Tired. Tired of hearing “hey ctah, u’r so chubby u need to lose some weight.”

You see, I used to be the one who cudn’t care less about what others think of my appearance, cuz I, LOVE my body. I admit to people that I am chubby, I admit to people that I have a couple of extra bladders here and there, and I DON’T hide myself because I had this self-confidence in me and, then, it was to hell with what others wanted to say. I'd tell them, "oh u'r just jealous cuz im so huggable". Yes, those are past tenses that I’m using there. Not present. I USED to have that confidence in me, and now, I guess it just flew away from me, bit by bit, leaving me.
NOW YOU TELL ME WHO’S GONNA PUT ALL THAT CONFIDENCE BACK IN ME?

I’m NOT miss perfect.
My BODY is not perfect.
Everything is OUT of proportion.
EVERYTHING is NOT right!

THAT”S WHAT YOU THINK!

TO ME, EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE... TILL NOW! No wait, not NOW, this has been going on for quite awhile already.

I used to tell myself, “oh screw those people ctah. Like u care~! It’s ur body and u do whatever u like, be whatever u like, look whatever u like”.

Im a fun bubbly funny girl, as what friends say. You see, people say, girls who are funny are the fat ones. And most think that these funny fat girls don’t take things to heart. Well you know what? You’re WRONG! We’re human, and we have feelings too. We may act like as if it’s nothing, laugh it off, but deep deeeeeeeeeeeeep down, it really IS something.

I have to admit, I’ve tried people, I’ve tried. Because of what you people have said, I put myself to try, try to put off weight. I’m all pumped up to do so, but every time, you put me down! “yeah ctah, diet ba!” or “ko polah papa pun badan besa ya juak” or some other sushis. HEY! You’re supposed to support me, encourage me, NOT discourage me.

You see, this got me thinking, you people just can’t accept me the way I am now can you? Like the way I accept you people as you are? Give me a break, please. Or you people are just waiting for me to get to a crazy point of hating myself and do some crazy stuff that I know for sure you people would regret to have pushed my sanity to that level? So please, just give me a break.

Phewh. There. Finally, I got it out. Hee. People, i guess this is just PMS. Sorry! Well, am just having one of those dysphoria moments. Or maybe its just something that's been kept in for too long that it needed to be let out.

note: blog friends, this post has nothing to do with you people. I noe u guys love me for who i am!

Owh, one thing. I'm still me! =) i won't bite, i don't eat people! And owh, I'd do no harm to "the people" mentioned. Im still the happy-happy-joy-joy girl. (wide grin with a very very up-to-no-good stare)

Ngiahahahahhahahahahaha (evil maniac laugh). kiddin. =P

lets do something crazy like post a video of urself. haha!

2008-06-01T13:14:00.004+08:00

okay, so im seriously in love with the ballad version of making the band 4 - i want you exclusive live performance (its my blog song!), and decided to nyanyi and record myself. hahaha. im posting the video here. wee. never in a million years i tot i wud ever upload a video of myself singing. eeekk. (just so you noe, i may be loud and mesra-alam, but im shy at times.) u can tell that im bored when i do things like this. ooh, speaking of videos i need to contact addie and ask her to email me the vid she took the other day! huu.

a short one. bear with me people. haha. don't say i didnt warn u! =P oh, before that, if u intend to watch, go to the eeennndd of the page, pause or stop the blog song first. hoho.

so yeah, i was looking at the lyrics, which explains why my nose is the star. haha! i still messed up, tho the lyrics are like rite in front of me. and my voice went off-key a bit. aihs. hey hey! im gonna memorise this song by heart in the next 10 minutes! since i have like nothing better to do! haha!

owh! hasSy! i noe u miss me n u noe i miss u too!

in my head

2008-05-31T22:56:00.003+08:00

notice how i usually start-off "its been a while since i updated" or anything sama-waktu-dengannya? hwahwa. i noe. lame.
the songs playing on mtv clicks with my mood tonight. nice. so me. ahahah. all the lovey-dovey love songs. aihs. hopeless lovesong sucker. ahahahah. im so not switching the channel! hee.
both my parents are away for the week. in kl, attending my cuzn's wedding. which I too was suppose to be attending, but nooooo, mom n dad decided to not purchase tickets for me and left me to babysit my 5 siblings. urgh. this whole week i had to wake up early in the morning, do the laundry, clear the sink, sweep the floor, tidy the living room, yada-yada-yada. note this: holidays mean stay-up-late, or sleep-in-morning. owh, and bring-friends-over. which leads to --> cooking maggi mee at nite, go make coffee or milo, goreng sausages n eggs. end result : sink, FULL! living room, MESSY! so yeah, being the "maid" i am, im left to clean up the mess. haih. boys will always be boys. grr. how i wish i cud just brainwash my brothers and get them into lending me a hand doing the chores arnd here. any suggestions on how to do so? hoho.
herpmh. im still waiting for my actual sem 2 result. shud already be here. i mean, they said "probably a week after ur results are out in the website". it's been 2 weeks already. where's that slip?!? grr. PASUM! post it already, will u? owh, n the phone bill from digi hasn't been sent in. i guess its true huh? when u wait, they never come. aish.
nisa's back! and fara will be home soon. hey babes! lets go makan! hahahahaha! call me! =PP i miss the two of u so much! and we have like sOo much to talk about! *update update!* weee! alot of catching up to do, especially with fara. cuz at least nisa n i met up while i was in kl. fara babe, the last time we've actually seen each other was raya! oh god that's like so long ago! come home soon n bring me out to makan! ahaha. =PP

the real deal.

2008-05-15T13:44:00.012+08:00

i wanted to post something non-crappy actually. but then i saw in the chatbox, i got tagged. settled! no hutang k fara? hehek!

owh, all mirians know what happened last two nights. that really strong wind which was said to have been caused by the ramusan typhoon, struck miri, and my oh my, u can see trees all tumbang-tumbang here and there, all were in odd positions and everything. like seriously. that's the first in so many years, i guess. read more here.

okay, so that's from the local paper. now this, is from me.

*ahem* attempting to write a so-called news article, but i have a feeling its not gonna work. oh who cares. haha!

Pujut 8: The night of May 13th, a strong wind hit Miri and because of this, there was this really big tong-tong sound coming from the back of the house, and Seetah, a local here, told herself, its just the kuinis gugok atas atap store. (crap. i told u it aint working. haha!) well i was right, the buah did gugok on the atap. wudya expect? strong wind, tree-full-of-almost-ripe-kuinis. of course la buah gugok nak? but i didn't expect it was actually, also this.

click to enlarge pls.

this was the after-effect. the next morning. as u can see, the roof of my store behind my house was ripped off, not totally, but yeah, it was like someone sengaja go and peel-off my atap. tedah eh. haha. u can tell that the wind was really strong. it wasn't just the roof, it was lots of other things too. everything tunggang tebalit! the old fridge with the "an", the yellow boards, n much of everything else outside the store were all scattered everywhere.the night of the incident, my area, pujut 8 here, had this power black-out. i guess one of the trees must've collapsed and hit the cables, cuz my dad told me, some people were working their ass off at 3 in the morning fixing the cables and stuff, including clearing the roads, so that the roads are tree-free. walla! 3++ a.m, lights are on! YAY! electricity bid "i'm back!". haha! and im panas-free. haha. was seriously panas that night. swoosh swoosh here, swoosh swoosh there, fanning myself. hehek.
my brother went out the next day, and he told me this. "nang kuat la angin malam tadik ya. traffic light ukannya bepusin jak, ada nok nang bengkok ba!" (simple translation: the traffic lights were either swoosh swoosh to wrong sides, or bent.)
creepy. i noe. thank god last night's wasn't as strong as the night before. if not, i can bet that another black-out would've happened. there's this big tree at the pujut 9 area, which is partially out of the ground, meaning to say, half-bodied la atas tanah. u wanna noe y? cuz its, hanging on to the main cables, the cables are preventing it from actually collapsing onto this rumah @ tuapekong there. hee. that owner shud go and report about this A.S.A.P. Cuz if another black-out happens, and if its because of the tree, i'll get u for it, mister!!!!
hermph,if u've read the news article, this is gonna last probably till saturday.

*hoping hard that no more black-out's gonna happen, and no more strong winds, please!*

and owh! can't wait for Gossip Girl's Season Finale. The 18th episode!! the beauty of downloads. haha! wee! i so can't wait to know what's gonna happen to G. i freakingly hate her.

till then, toodles! =))

one tag pls. oh, wait. make it double.

2008-05-15T13:26:00.002+08:00

the never ending tagging game. aihs. im gonna get u for this fara!!! hoho.
ok, so the deal is, wait, lemme copy wat's on fara's post.

note to fara: fara, my name isn't jap. enuff already? hehek! mashitah. just add-in YA infront. cukup jepon apa! haha! =))

the 1st part:

Instructions: add your name on the list and simply spell out your name using the given Japanese letter- translations below. Tag six of your friends and inform them of the tag. Have fun.

TRANSLATION:

A - ka -----G - ji -----M - rin -----S - ari----- Y - fu

B - tu -----H - ri -----N - to ------T - chi -----Z - zi

C - mi----- I - ki -----O - mo -----U - do

D - te----- J - zu -----P - no ------V - ru

E - ku-----K - me ----Q - ke ------W - mei

F - lu-----L - ta ------R - shi ------X - na

*********************************************

1. OSWALD - moarimeikatate (sounds like american and states har….har…har…)
2. JUNELLE - zudotokutataku (Thank God I’m a Filipino! sounds like sadako. nyay! hehehe)
3. JACQUELINE - zukamikedokutakitoku (Ayay!! Unsaman ni perti mang taasa..wa ko kasabot nyahahaha)
4. LIRA LUZ - takishika taduzi ( sounds like a title of an anime show) it’s cute!
5. NOVA JOY - tomoruka zumofu [nakakaluka, ano bang sounds ito? parang ang bantot naman…]
6. LERMA - takushirinka (I’ll use this name if I’m in Japan!)
7. BREGIE -tushikujikiku (Wah….ang sagwa hehehehe)
8. SHENG - AriRiKuToJi (forget it! LOL!!!)
9. LYNN - TaFuToTo (Hahaha! It sounds like… Are we thinking the same thing? Hahaha!)
10. GOJI - Jimozuki ( hmmm ano ito? parang true Japanese name nga…)
11. DARLYN - Tekashitafuto (maganda sana kung dar nlng name ko kc tekashi lng.... surname na cgro ung tafuto parang pagkain na yan puto...)
12. MARYLYKA - RinkashifuTafumeka (Hahaha! So disgusting. I don't even know to uttered the word...waaaaa!)
13. MANGOSTEENSKIN - Rinkatojimo Arichikukuto Arimekito (Haha! sounds like somebody's mumbling nonsense) "......Fujimori tu dari mexico?!" Bila pula aku kata macam tu? Aku bagitau nama akulah! Haha!
14. FARA - Lukashika - (heh. it's like some warrior's name from the shogun era. "General. Lukashika the Deadly Crapper would like to meet you" lol!)
15. Seetah - Arikukuchikari (whaa? haha! kuci kuci~ tickle me! i like kari. ohoho. sheesh!)

the 2nd part:

~~Begin Copy~~

This is the easy way and the fastest way to :

1. Make your Authority Technorati explode.

2. Increase your Google Page Rank.

3. Get more traffic to your blog.

4. Makes more new friends.

Rules :
1. Start copy from “Begin Copy” until “End Copy” to your blog(for bloggers paste on the “compose” not the “edit html” part in posting blogs so it will be linked automatically).
2. Put your own blog name and link.
3. Tag your friends as much as you can, the more the better!
List:
1. Picturing of Life
2. Juliana’s Site
3.Hazel-My Life, My Hope, My Future.
4.Jeanne-The Callalily Space
5.Starz in De Sky
6. My Charmed Life
7.Denz Techtronics
8.Denz Recreational
9.Life’s Simple Pleasures
10. My Blog
11. Because Life is Fun
12. In This Game of Life
13.Scribbles of my Life
14.Changing Lanes
15. anna
16. joytoy
17.Surviving deployment
18. The Deviant
19. All I want is Everything
20. Shadows of love, fate and destiny
21.Tasteful Voyage
22.A mom’s note
23. Bittersweet Collide
24.Jackie Simplypinay
25.Jackie’s Everyday Life
26. Parisukat
27. Ang Sponge ni Bub
28. ee-ey
29. Life is too short to be ordinary
30. mangosteenskin
31. the art of FarA's realm
32. SeEtAhneSs-

YOU’RE NEXT

~~ END COPY~~

I tag... jeng jeng jeng. arif, lala, fakh and daus!

tagged.

2008-05-06T22:33:00.002+08:00

i haven't been updating in the last 9 days. eek. now that i am, i've to settle this one tag. by daus. here goes.

Rules
Link to your tagger and post these rules.List eight (8) random facts about yourself.Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

one:
im a really loud & a "mesra alam" person, of course, around crowds that im familiar with. but but but, u shud noe that, if things click, tho its the first time we meet, it means that u'r comfy enuff to be with.

two:
since daus mentioned about drinks, i'd like to state what mine is. i love love love teh ais cincau, kolej 12, UM. every single day without fail, i'd get a dose of my fav. drink. but now since im no longer there, haih, i guess i've to start making my own. cuz miri, xda, u noe!

three:
lately i've become a clean freak, again. this is the being-at-home-with-5-other-siblings-in-the-house-who-couldn't-care-less-about-cleanig-up syndrome. phewh. that was a long one. haha. every morning, right after i get out of bed, i'd start doing house chores. im the temp. bibik. hmph.

four:
i suck at physics. no comment. that's it.

five:
"u look alot like ur mother". yes, i get that alot. i dont just look alot like her, i am very much like her. i'm somewhat a younger version of her. hehe. =))

six:
i noe i shudn't be mentioning this here, but it is a "random facts" tagging thing right? i have a big butt. u don't believe me? go see pictures in this post, under school. u tell me. haha.

seven:
i love love love love love love to sing. notice how many times i stated "love"? hehe. u can hear me singing anytime, anywhere. hwahwahwa. i've joined competitions, and yes, recently i performed for my Malam Emas PASUM dinner. hehehehe.

eight:
im a sucker for whithe handbags. yes, my handbag has always been white. from the first one till the one now. i remember the time i went to shop for my handbag with nisa, she asked me this. "what's with you and white handbags?" well, i don't noe. haha. i juz love em! =))

so there. 8 very random facts, i suppose. erm. can i tag everyone? hehe. =PP

...

2008-04-27T02:29:00.002+08:00

"And i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.

'cause i ('cause i..), i don't want to make things any worse.

And i (i..), i don't want to speak these words.

'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse."

Tiger Lily - Matchbook Romance

Sometimes, some things are better left unsaid.

yay! happy mode the reason why i love love love to be in miri!

2008-04-26T23:06:00.014+08:00

i had fun fun fun today! notice how many times i mentioned fun? so this means my day was super fun!!! =))) went out with the cliques, the ones i so so love! this post is sOo gonna be filled with pics pics pics! omigosh. there i go again. hahaha!

1st stop, desserts!

im not in the picture, cuz i took this. d'uh. obviously. haha. =)

left to right : val, olie, flora ( a new friend ), thres, sha, terey.

next stop: school! school! school!

i miss school so bad, that at one point i felt like going back to high school. i miss all the fun. all the peeps. the environment, of being in school. i miss all of that. like just now, we walked around the school. i can say that every step of the way, there's just something to be remembered. i was a prefect then, so i was assigned to go jaga the dewan. haha. back then, every wednesday, right after the assembly, all of us would walk, lalu this particular pathway to go back to class. i knew i shud've taken the picture of that jalan! u noe, the one nok bricks ya~aish!

the bilik guru, where we see our teachers every morning. cuz our class is just opposite it. i remember how i used to make like alot of noise, and i laughed like really hard till almost always, when i go to the staff room, Cikgu Dyg. Saurai or Ustazah Siti would tell me this, "ada saya nenga bunyi awak bisin rah kelas sia" or "awak nok tetak kuat lalu tek nak? tauk saya" haha!

the pejabat am, where i see the pengetua, and without fail, everytime i see her i'll go "hye teacher!!!". note the exclamation marks. yes. that's how i say it.

the dewan perhimpunan! fara and nisa would so noe this. i remember back then where nisa and i would escape from doing our duties, by going backstage, to join fara. u see, we didnt wanna leave her alone at the backstage. see, good intention! haha!

dewan kuliah. something silly happened to me and asylla. something that u'd never thought we'd do. haha! its for us to know, and to laugh about, the next time we meet.

the ko-op, canteen, the toilet, the labs!!! there's just so much to talk about.

okay, what i love most about school is the classroom. what is a classroom without classmates~ aihs! people! i miss u so so so much! owh, not much has changed, just that they have projectors, cpu's, and whiteboards in class now. everything else is still pretty much the same.

time for pictures!!!

high-school moments brought back to live! well at least i think so. =P

at the laman iqra'. kan? that's what it is kan? haha. i look like someone from that detergent advert. notice the white "stripe" there? haha. what was it, fab? breeze? oh who cares.

the ex-5 yakin peeps in the present 5 yakin classroom.

left to right : terey, thres, moi!, and olie.

terey looks so hot here! hehek! look at olie!

ass-spankin' time baybeh!! haha!

this picture, me loike!!! =)) us doing our thang~

me being silly with my oh-so-very favourite tanggak.

the babes! =) oh, the bilik PBSM? or smth, is now the ko-op. there at the far end, yes, this balcony, is our favourite spot, waiting for our ride to come.

this picture is taken, especially for nisa and fara! remember the tong taik? our spot? where almost every petang, everytime we stay-back, we'd be chit-chattin' like mad here. gossips gossips! haha!

the bus happens to be parked there, so, apa lagik! amik gamba la! haha!

the last stop : esplanade!

it has been so so so so so so long since i last went to the beach. u wanna noe y? there's no beaches in KL! i so love the ocean breeze, the wave splashing on to shores. very calming. watching the sunset~ how i love it so so much!

us being us. having hell-load of fun!

i miss all of you already!!!

edit! : if terey hadn't mention this in his blog, i wudnt've realised! dont believe the dates! the cam is so bengongly wrong. heee.

funny thing

2008-04-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

let's start off by laughing. HAHA. im just bored actually. wudya expect? staying in the entire day, doing nothing much, how can u not get bored? i need to find a job. any recommendation people?

- lala! i wouldn't mind working at the kindy! as long as i've something other than sitting at home to do! please! -

i have nothing to post about actually. let's see where this post will lead to.
so it has been 4 days, since i arrived from kl. i've done nothing much. owh! last night i watched the 14th episode of Gossip Girl. The Blair Bitch Project. looks like season one is still on. the series was pulled off the air due to writers strike. but now they're back! wee! had to stream it, cuz downloading that particular episode takes like forEVER! after watching this episode, i've developed a not-likeness feeling towards jenny. watch it! u'll get what i mean. hwahwa.
okay so enough of GG for the moment. people, i need other suggestions on what to watch!

oh oh oh! just got off the fone with xul, dear bro. it's been some time that we were last on the fone. some pouring-ur-heart-out session, me being the one to turn to. i'd say that i am a good listener, and i can give really good words of advice. haha. gosh, now i feel like going back to high-school, where most of my friends would come up to me saying this and that. "seetah, i need help. it's like this... ", "seetah, i dunno wat to do~!". seasoned, and wise, u can say. (riiitttee~! )haha!

i need to download movies! im bored bored bored! owh, aqeela suggested that i get myself a pet, feed it, and watch it die. haha! great. to kill time, u kill something. ahaha.

favorite person! i need u to be here, and soon! missing u badly!

you resort to doing something else

2008-04-24T02:21:00.003+08:00

so. when you feel like u've not been given much attention, by let's say, no one specific. hoho. u resort to doing something else. yes. do something else. not just sit and wait all day. do something to get ur mind off of that thing that you feel like is gonna bug u the rest of the day if u keep on thinking about it. there.
okay. so what do you do?
as for me, i do house chores, i go online, i blog and stuff. things i do, are the ones that will actually make me happy, and not think to much of a certain something. i have to admit, these past few days, no wait, weeks, i must say, i haven't been feeling all happy about something. which i cannot mention here. it's for me to know, and as usual, for you to never find out. haha! =P dont go digging for infos! =P
i was busy with exam two weeks before, so yes, i've distracted myself by studying, and being with friends back in PASUM. but now that im at home, studying and PASUM friends, are far from reach already. all i have with me is dear lappy, the net and a whole lot of house chores. thank god for all that, i have no reason to think of what's making me all bummed lately. well for the mean time, at least.

people people! cheer me up will you? you wouldnt want me to die of boredom, and bummness now, would you? haha! owh, exceptions for raymond and shane, cuz they've done their part. now, lala! sera! nisa! fara! and the unmentioned, where are you people? please pop up in front of my house a.s.a.p cuz in a few days time i wont be having as much stuff to do as i have at the moment! meaning, there's not much distraction left!
there. =)) i love me! haha. =P
aihs. happy hormones! where are you now when i need you most? anyone know of any place that i can get my prescription on daily happy hormones? wait wait. hourly. ahah. yes please. if you know, do contact me! soon! like really!

the two who made my day

2008-04-23T21:52:00.011+08:00

RAYMOND & SHANE
pics taken from fs.

osh kosh beegosh omigosh! haha. only after so long, i finally get to meet my two best guy friends! the jokers! oh how i miss these two! so very much! the last time we met was waayyyy back last year, when the SPM result was out.
shane came to miri from brunei today. just for the day. he rushed back home at nite, cuz "my mother's hunting me already". that was what he said. yea. he fetched me from home with raymond. and u can see how wide the smile on my face was when i saw these two! i was really happy to see them! tho it was a brief outing, i had fun. i cudnt remember the last time i laughed so hard with them. how i miss high school years!
back then they were my everyday boys. yes of course there were the ups and downs of life with them. i remember how this one time thay intentionally ignored me for two long days, for NO APPARENT REASON. just for fun. i was like, okay, what did i do? like seriously. tried talking to them, asked them what was wrong, but all i get was a whatever-face. sheesh u guys. i was feeling very guilty, tho i didnt noe what i did. which is nothing. grr. i cudnt stand it, i burst into tears. yes. i did. haha. they ended up pujuk-ing me by buying one big bar of chocolate. they put it in my school bag and gave me a message when i got home, and it went like this "we're sorry. your boiling point-2 days. check your bag properly. Frm us." yes. i still have that message. safely stored in the simcard. hee. =))
these two never fail to cheer me with their oh-so-never-ending jokes. like just now, i can't stop laughing. fara shud noe this. true kan fara, if u'r with them, it's always like this. haha! they drive me crazy sometimes. lemme tell you one thing, raymond is one guy who just can never stop laughing. it's like, something's gotten into him. joke's over, but there he goes, laughing his arse off, for the next few minutes. haha.
owh, shane! i miss u so much! the "story-story" time we used to have back in high-school years, aduh! it's been ages since we last did that la wey! rindu gila gila i eh! huuu~!
im missing the two of u already! hope to see u guys again before u fly off to kl. i wonder why we never get to meet up in kl, tho the three of us are all there already. mok tunggu miri jwak ba. haha!
thanx for making my day boys! i had fun. =) i love the two of u! =))

i HATE goodbyes...

2008-04-21T17:15:00.000+08:00

yes. the title tells it all. i hate goodbyes. PASUM 07/08 has ended. i've checked-out from the kolej on thursday, and left it for good. its hard to say goodbye. i never liked it. when i was done packing the other day, it felt like as if i've just arrived in PASUM, and i have not unpacked my stuff. but no, get back to reality seetah, u'r leaving. seriously leaving. leaving everything behind, and all thats left are just memories and moments to be kept and cherished. precious and priceless moments. tho it has just been less than a year.

back in the last semester, i remember how i seriously cant wait to go home. but i dont feel like so already. back then there was another semester to go, but its different now, cuz, there's no next sem to look forward to. no more tutorials. no more lectures. no more staying up late reading notes, studying, or just yadayada-ing wif the friends. no more going out on weekends watching movies wif the babes. no more MCdelivery. no more domino's. no more teh ais cincau! no longer will there be all of that now. u only get to go thru all that once, and that's it.

i'll miss the friends so much. one year is not too short a time to get to noe people well if u put it to good use. i've made really good friends wif the people here. bonded with the peeps. that was why it was hard saying goodbye. i felt so close to them already, especially the everyday girls. =(( i wont get to go all p***o-ish with them nemore. aish.

now that im home already, days spent in PASUM kept flashing back in my mind. how can u easily let go of something u've been doing everyday for the past one year? that's hard u see. at home, i've nothing to do. i feel like reading the notes again, and doing my tutorials. feel like going to fatens room jz because. i miss all of that! gosh. i noe this one week will be hard, as there's so much to get used to. =((

PASUM 07/08! i'll miss u. cuz only now that i see, u rock my world!

lab day : disecting the little tikus

my oh so very loyal lab partner

us wif the demonstrator kak intan

lecture hall moments

the two girls i cant live without

my oh-so messy table that i'll miss. =(

day out with nisa.

2008-04-04T16:45:00.000+08:00

nisa xda feel tgga abc~ sheesh...

see. this is how u appreciate food! =P

met up wif nisa at kl sentral, on friday to hang out, n we went to one utama. it was fun getting lost there. most of the time we din noe where we were, the new wing? the old wing? ahaha.

things bought:

alot of new baju's. (nisa)

a pair of clothings. (me)
a new handbag. (me)
FOOD! how many times was it sa did we stop to makan? 4? or was it 5? i lost count. ahaha! =P

lemme see. first it was rasamas at kl sentral. then it was big apple. then auntie annes. and the abc. then... was there another one? eek. i cant remember. haha.

i have yet to get the pics from nisa's phone. she got the ones from my phone, but i didnt get hers! eek. oh well. sa i f u'r reading this, email me d pics! or post it up somewhere so i can grab!

u noe how i am... haha!

2008-03-23T14:37:00.008+08:00

ok. so yes, remember, i've posted about my tonsil b4, n my swollen eye. rite? today i'd like u all to meet a new member of the sakit-ness family. hwahwa. introducing miss BIG bisol.

don't laugh people, for this bisol cost me one bloody chunk of money yesterday. RM110 to be exact!!! i was in pain for a few days and it was seriously hard for me to sleep at nite. i remembered crying the night before i went to the clinic. cuz it was really painful. it was pulsing, and felt like it was gonna pop and burst any moment! eek! i had fever because of miss bisol! this was my 1st bloody experience of having it, which i never want it to happen to me again! ever! i can't sit rite. owh, i haven't told u, where it was exactly. it was on the underside of the thigh which made it hard for me to sit. or lie down, even walk. u can ask nurisa! cuz i went out wif her the other day. she said, and i quote "ko jalan kedak penguin ba" sheesh. it hurt realllllyyy bad.

i cudn't bear with it any longer, so yeah, i went to the clinic yesterday. was waiting for the taxi wif adeeba, or baba, as wat i call her. =PP baba accompanied me. hee! =)) owh. ok, so while waiting for the cab, hyder came, he was driving, wif has next to him. they stopped, and i asked him, where the nearest clinic is. he was like "come in, come in, let me help send u" or smth. hee. so yeah, he sent me to this chelliah clinic. hyder n has didnt just send me, they waited till i was done, like seriously! so sweet of them! thanx hyder! thanx has! i love u both! *mwah mwah*
baba was wif me the whole time in d doc's room. okay, so d doc asked questions and all, and she asked for me to lie down, and u noe wat? the 1st thing she said when she saw me, after i pulled down my pants and exposed my oh-so-cute behind to her, "NICE COLOUR". haha. i was wearing an orange pantie. hwahwa. =P baba told me, after i was injected with the anesthetic/bius, (okay, it sounds more gooeyy in malay, so here goes) the doctor potong potong wif a small blade or knife or smth, and then picit picit, and then cucok cucok, and picit picit, and cucok cucok and picit picit. there was alot of blood. really banyak. but. walaaa. the pain of having that bongok bisol is no longer there! hooray hooray! =PP so yeah. that's it about my bisol. =PP hehek!

owh! wait wait! i need to post this as well! meet baba!

baba's been such a good friend to me. she was there with me thru my days of sick-ness, when no one else was. (this is cuti, so everyone's either back home or out ). seriously caring. she was with me all day long, helping me with this and that. i don't know what i were to do without her here! hee. such a sweet thing! u noe, she'd come over just to check-up on me. like this morning. she knocked on the door and asked "tuntung! (that's wat she calls me. don't ask me y) how r u?" and all. i love her! more pics of baba n i! *hugs*

p/s: sa! my next post will be about our day out. promise! =))

IM BACK!

2008-03-19T22:18:00.006+08:00

guess what happened? it's been so long since i last updated that i forgot my username & pass. had to do this recovery thing n all. haha! silly me.
just bear with me people, for i have loads to blog about. n pics to put up! (riiiteee~~) hee. =PP
alot has happened this past year. as u know, im in PASUM. it's ending soon. yes. the 11 month course is ending. it feels like it was just yesterday when i first got the call from the PASUM office, on saturday, the 9th of june, informing me that i got accepted. it's still fresh in my mind, how i rushed to settle things on monday, the 11th. i went from one end of miri to the other just to make sure everything is settled. my plane ticket, my certs, my bank account, everything. it felt like it was just yesterday when i first went far away from home, the next day, ALL ALONE, boarded and sat for two long hours in the plane and landed my feet here in PASUM. believe it or not, it's been almost a year since then.
of course, i've made new friends, and was reunited with the old ones. i remember how i used to get all toungue tied back when i was still getting used to the language here. the bahasa they use. the "e"s~ u noe what i mean. haha. it's nice really, to have made new friends. the people here are friendly. well, that doesn't apply to all, actually. just some. ones that i noe. ooh! let's see pictures! =))

the tutorial mates

the everyday girls. love you!

the roommate

AND THESE ARE THE NICE PEOPLE. HAHA. RIIIITTEEE~~~!!!

hyder azaad. =P "great minds think alike!"

hasliza. YOUU! =))

from left to right : fatin, mila, has, afzan, lebat, farahan, hazeeqa, n lia. =)

the whites : adilla, firdy, et moi, addie! has.

these twoo...... =P ageeeeeela & fairuz.

hermph. would love to put up more pics, but i'll save it for later. i've something in mind. hee. =PP till then!

sorry. =P

2007-09-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

tot of updating but u noe, my brain went dead. haha! =P

wey people~!!!

2007-07-30T14:15:00.000+08:00

hey hey! m on my holidays~! one week eh! wee! but sadly, no going back to miri for me. aihs. exam's coming up in just one week. gaaahh!!! mid-term baa~! grr. times passes by soooo laju-ly here. seriously. jap² jak sminggu dh pass. now it's been nearly 2 months dh here, p cerik kdak bok bapa minggu im here. ngee.

lemah asa nyawa klaka org ctok. so now mok mlepas klaka gtok. haha. this will be my sarawak-EST post everr! haha! haaa~ noe wat? org lain cuti lekak exam, mekorg cuti lok, bok exam. bes sik? boring naa juak. cuti polah notes, blaja. jd geeeeeeeekkkk dh. hahaha! nerdo~ huhu! ndak lamak gilaaa jdnya. ehek! mena tok~ siyesss~!! siyes shit~ ahaha. *dus

mok blt miri baa~! dga² tek fly-over dh nak cyap? pa cita tek org miri? hehek. update² lah owh wif me ctok! grr. owh, did i mention exam x lmk gk? i did! naaah.. tgga yaa! lam palak exam ajak dh nektok. haih. m tensed sbenanya. ney ndak, evrione here pandei lalu. i feel like d not-clever ( this is a nice way of saying myself as dumb, u see) one. sedeyh mena. gney ndak kah wif d result lak. aihs! hope sumaaa jak okeh eyy. wish me luck hoh? haha. gila dh me.

owh owh! did i tell u? one of my tutorial mates came up to me, telling me im not as cheerful & bubbly as i was. x pnah² i was told im not cheerful n bubbly. nampak bena la i tensen ctok hoh. sedeyh x?? haih~

haaa... tok tgh ada time mlepas tensen d cc. nyelepat la update my oh-so-lamak-sik-update blog. hoho. =PP mok post gamba skali tek, p yalah, pandei gilak, g cc x mbak cable tpon. ney nak tensper gamba? clever o not?? haha. ngengs.. eee!! awal pdh, i look so sik betol dh now. zits! loadsssssa zits! ngek. efek tdo ahey mlm n bgn awal lalu. stended tdo kol 2. bgn kol 6. cukup apaaa tdo yaa??? mok ngganti tdo on weekends jak. life is soooo bz ctok. aihs!!! mkn x tentu, but but but, agik jwak maintain kekiutan, so no worries, im still comel. ahahahahaha! cheyyy! =PP dhla. merapu rapu jak dh d type tok. haha! till next time la hoh? =PP

loveeeesss!!! loadssssss of love~!!! =)) *mwahs*

short update~!

2007-07-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

grr.
so yeah.
it's been like almost a month already that im far far away from home.
yes. i miss home. i do. i miss mom's cooking. i miss my comfy queen-sized bed. i miss my room. i miss doing all the house chores. i miss my cute lil cuzns. i miss my fam there.
i've been bz these past few weeks. had like tonnes of catching up to do. notes, tutorials. stuff. etc, etc. *i feel dumb here sometimes. not noeing anything. like seriously~. grr.*
managed to find just a wee bit of time to actually go to the cc n update on stuff. huhu. i miss those moments when i cud just log on to the net anytime i want. aihs. i miss loadsa things eyy!
owh. life's here just okay. made new friends. n yes, im still the ctah i am, maybe a lil less loud... NOT! haha! =PP like u wud ever believe im not as loud anymore. haha! =PP
owh. it was hard for me to actually get use to this place at first. the food especially. cuz yeah, new baaa sumaa... but yeah, after a few weeks m okay edy. ngee!
i've got loads to tell. time's just being jealous wif me. ngek ngek ngek. got loads to be done! so yeah, more updates next time. hopefully. grr.

its not easy

2007-06-11T16:56:00.000+08:00

life's getting tougher as we age. yea, it's true.

when we get older, we learn to be independent.

we mature with experiences, and we learn new things along the way.

not everything that happens in life is sweet.

there are too, bitter moments.

it's like a knock on the door, a wake up call.

things don't always happen the way we want them to.

there are times when we would just accept things the way it is,

let it be and just see what happens next.

but there are also times when we would just hide ourselves at one corner, or

lock ourselves up in our room, feeling aaaalll depressed.

eyes get all teary, as we just couldn't really take on what has happened.

nothing's easy these days.

but it doesnt mean that it's impossible to do.

am i not rite?

we just have to work hard.

it IS tough, yea, and it's NOT easy...

but still, it CAN be done.

hmm...

eee... i cant believe i'll be leaving, 1st thing in d morning. yes, tomorrow. ='( *mode : sad*

edit edit!

2007-05-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

so i have just come to realise (seriously, i just noticed!) that the pictures in my post a few weeks ago x klua. buang karan. really. but hey. dh edit! so i hope the pictures nampak la dis time. syg ba. ish. hehe. =PP

can i not put a title for this post?

2007-05-26T00:05:00.000+08:00

i feel like letting this out. so mind me. huhu.

sometimes (seriously, just sometimes) , i cant help but feel envious looking at others, having the time of their life, enjoying their time with their loved ones. really. they get to spend so much time with each other, get to see one another, just any single time of the day they want. u wanna noe y i feel this way, SOMETIMES?

because.

we DON'T get to see each other very often.
we DON'T get to spend so much time with each other.
we DON'T get to go out, and have fun with each other any time of the day, the week, or the month.
we DON'T get to go out to the movies on time, whenever a new one comes out.
we DON'T get to go out for breakfasts, lunches, or dinners every now and then.

*owh yea, WE as in me n my favourite person*

huhu. who ever says being in a "long-distance" relationship is easy? it's taff. these're things that u just have to deal with, getting involved with such a rltnship.
but yeah, things are going on just fine so far. to come to think of it, things are just great. *happy thoughts- big smile* haha. cuz u noe y?

we DO get to sms each other every single day.
we DO get phone calls from each other. *tho not evriday, but yeah, we still get to hear each others voices.*

and when HE is back in town~

i DO get to see him.
i DO get to see his face.
i DO get to have him rite next to me.
i DO get to spend time together with him.
i DO get to go to the movies with him.
i DO get to go to the beaches with him.
i DO get to go to places with him.
i DO get to take pictures with him.
i DO get to go out and just go makan with him.
i DO get, tho not big, but little sweet surprises from him.

*well, the bottom line is, i get to see him!*

hah! more DO's than DON'Ts. haha. naaah.

and u see, there's just so much more that i get to do with him! spend more quality time, as they say. ahaha. *dush*

geez. i guess im just making myself miss him more. so much more. very very much. huuhuu~

DUE TO THE ICKY-NESS OF THE FOLLOWING IMAGE, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

2007-05-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!

meet my darling tonsil. ahaha!

so yeah. as u see,my tonsil's infected. n my throat feels sore. really sore. as in it-really-hurts-so-bad kinda sore. u noe? huhu. u don't. yea, u don't, cuz i'm the one hu has to go thru aaalll the pain, which u mite never noe how it feels. it's been 2 days already! i can't even eat rite. seriously. it's hard for me to eat. or drink. or even swallow. ee. really! hermph. this is making me sick. i mean, i think im having a fever. y oh y? pity me. kan? *dush*

mom's gonna bring me to the clinic tonight. oh, just so u noe, this is gonna be my first time going to the clinic this year. the last time i went there was some time last year. just ONCE! HAH! see! taff me. ahaha. i am. i noe. ehek.

i don't like going to the clinic. it's not that i hate it, i just don't like it. really. i mean, if u'r just having like a mild fever, or u catch cold, or smth, y make such a big fuss out of it n go drag ur mom or dad to bring u to go for check-ups? all the doctor wud prescribe is "panadol, 2 tablets 3 times a day" or some other craps. haha! i mean like, u have that place called "pharmacy" for u to go to and buy all those ubats. am i not rite? haha. *well hey im just trying to prove how much i dislike going to the clinic. that's all. ahah.* =PP

so yea, peace out! =PP sorry for the icky-ness. hehek!

this is taff.

2007-05-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

i cant get myself to sleep. m tired. hv been working my ass off cleaning the house. m supposed to be sleeping now. eee. *dush* this is dumb. huhu. i need my sleep. aieh. anyone has any sleeping pills or something? grr. or jz knock me out dead. HAHA.

owh. u. hermph. missing that someone. *dush* this is hard.

hmm...

2007-05-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

i found something that attracted me. tot of posting it here. teehee.

and owh. to that someone. hehe. this is true. haha! it's kinda cute, u see. hehek. =PP

simple. but comel. oww? =))

...

2007-05-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

"i love you..." three simple words. which can mean so much. true.
many uses it wrongly. they've tainted the word. they just say it sometimes, but not mean it. that's just not rite. really. that's wrong. cuz some people might fall for it, and do something crazy like believe it. aihs.

when u let urself love somebody, it means that u'r giving that somebody the chance to break ur heart, but at the same time, u'r trusting them not to. sure, at the beginning of the relationship, or even before getting involved with one, words like "oh, i'll never break ur heart" or "i noe u'r never gonna leave me" craps gets poured out. haha. true? but hey, as they say, things can happen. rite? and sometimes, it happens just when u least expect it.

not all relationships end well.
some fail half-way thru.
some go thru hard times just trying to keep things going on fine.
some just lets it go with the flow, and whatever happens, happens.
if it's meant to be, then it is. if it's not, it's not.

not everything in this world ends happily, like fairy tales rite? it's destiny they say. but holding on to that belief, is like u'r just LETTING things happen. destiny is just an excuse for not MAKING things happen. think about it.

hermph. when there's love, of course, there's hurt. when u'r in love, it's either u hurt the one u love, or it's the other way round.
sometimes, u hurt.
sometimes, u feel hurt.
sometimes, u hurt, or u'r hurt, without realisation.
little things, can too hurt.
the littlest things.
hermph. so it is true. as u grow to love, u get more fragile. ur heart, that is. even the littlest things can hurt u. wat more to say big ones. surely u'd be crushed. huhu~

aihs. i don't know why the heck am i writing this post. ngee. my "dr.love"-ness is back, i guess. huhu. this is one midnite madness. *dush*

one-eyed me. haha!

2007-05-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

BOO!

ahahahaha! i still look cute with one eye swollen rite? maintain ba. ahahahaha! dahla i'm sepet, tambah gk wif d kembang, x nampak terus my mata. haha! this was a couple of days back. im all okay now. my eye's back to its normal form already. huhu! sheesh. the agony, the pain, the eye-starts-to-get-teary-and-painful day i went thru~ fuuuhh. can i NOT go thru that again? i hate it. really. when i woke up in the morning, 1st thing i felt was, my eyelids were like glued together wif gam gajah. haha. u noe wat i mean. hehek. u go wandering around the house with one eye fully functioning, and the other is just hopeless. cant seem to do anything quite rite. but hey i managed to cook! haha. see. i prepared dinner. who says u cant do anything with one eye? but my cooking angus a bit cuz i forgot to remind my mom to watch over it while i go get my shower. haha. funny. but it still tastes yummy tho! =PP

hmm. i'm missing this certain someone at this very moment actually. i really really really miss this person. switnes, as wat i wud refer this person as. haha. switnes has been gone for nearly a week baruk, so, kira a few days already, go fly off far² there. =PP but my kerinduan is really kronik. side efek ba me. ekeke. =PP *dush* i seriously miss switnes. aaawwhh! if only the pintu-sukahati doraemon really exists, it wud be easy to go wherever u want, whenever u want. rite? haha. aihs. im missing the moments spent together. can i turn back time just a wee bit and freeze it for uno momento? adehs. huhu! ngekness. seleheyness has taken over. adoh. dah dah. haha. enuff said. not wanting to spill too much here. ngee. =PP

see. haha! =PP switnes.

down the irreplaceable memories memory lane~ haha. whaa?

2007-05-18T15:37:00.001+08:00

hermph. felt like doing this. so here goes. haha. =P

from left to right : urs truly, fara!, thres, nab, olie n ctek.

im missing these babes. ctek especially. haven't seen her since... err.. lemme see. my last paper~ biology. ah! 04/12/2006. *dush* see~ lamak nyaaa! =(( ctek sits rite nex to me in class. we share alot of things together. i seriously can talk jz about aaannyything to her. huhu. *sob sob*

olie : haha. without this chica, xpat we all merasa ayam giant every friday ptg b4 add-maths extra class! haha!

nab: the loud one. i remember the time back when we were in form 2. kes knk halo bus driver cuz we pressed the bell sOo many times. haha! geng gila2. ahah. eee!

thres: kusyen empok, as wat olie n a few others wud call her. haha! no her, no very *nyaman* place to rest our heads on. ahaha! emot's favourite person to hug. hehek!

left to right : syafiqah, wawa, leb2, urs truly, n nisa!

syafiqah: very innocent. haha. but still, she's funny. i remember the time when i used to kacau her, her face wud turn red. blushing. cepat lalu her face tuka merah. haha. its like the blood suma pump n rush to her face. ekekeke. *dush* jgn marah ho sya. =P

wawa: wee! the girl hu doesnt mind nganta-ngambik us nisa, go jalan, go to parties, to picnics. aih. without u im jalanless nowadays. ahaha. the love guru. ahaha. im dr.love, she's the love guru. riiiitee.. gud match oh?

leb2: asylla. this girl! eee! i cant imagine going thru my hi-school life without her. i've noen her since i was in form 1. been thru loads with her. seriously, someone really really fun to hang arnd with. a friend worth keeping.

nurisa

ah. this young lady, a dear friend of mine, i miss. no more seeing her going online. aihs. SHE was SUPPOSED to msg me before she leaves for labuan, but did she do so? NOOOO. she didnt. *dush* must've slipped her mind, i suppose. hoho. i am a loyal reader of her blog. but now, she wudnt be updating as much, wud she?

anne laling.

and this one. i dont get to see her much. not as much as when i was still in school. back then, i wud get daily hugs from her. it's the "laling" thing, u noe. we dont care wat ppl say, we'd just hug. everytime we see each other, we'd hug. i love getting hugs from dis gurl. really. huhu. tho we rarely see each other, still we update about ourselves every now and then. uish. but laling syg, we've got alooottt of catching up to do eyy. alot has happened. n i bet u've got tonnes to tell too! ngee. =P

owl. eh. no. fara! haha.

babe. u r the one of those few hu i cant seem to keep things from. memang crita punya. owwh? haha. *dush* remember last year, u, me n nisa~ alot oh the memories? dudok rah tong taek there. haha. ujong blok is our favourite spot. we'd go blakang dewan evritime masa assembly when nisa n i were supposed to go n btugas d depan. ahaha. eskep! =P after d assembly the three of us wud go n bersila tgh2 stage. and! oh. remember time softball? tho we x btugas, we gago2 join the rest on d field n eskep kelas? ahaha. adehs. there's like sooo banyak which we did back then, and if i were to list all, sampey mlm pun sik abis i type this post. ahaha. *hiperbola jwak.* ekeke. =P owh! wait. one more. *owl* ahaha. u get me. *wink wink*

zul, the adek kaseh!

syamel, the adek syg!

haha! these two! my favourite bois! the sweet and candy of my life! yay! my two adek angkats. adek kaseh + adek syg = adek kaseh syg. waaatt ka! ahahah. *dush* got to noe them real well last year. they are just the sweetest. seriously. never tot dat we cud be close. when i'm down, they'd cheer me up. they shower me wif chocolates. lots and lots of chocolates. that's y i love them. ahaha! no la. hehek. i remember how ram and meera wud be so geram wif me when i told them i was given chocs by these two. yummy chocs summore. not the 20 cents chocs eyy. ahaha. i still keep the wrappers. memories. y wanna throw them away kan? chocolates digested, but wrappers kept. haha. i did take photos of the chocs, but, as wat i've mentioned in my previous post, my pc meletup. the pics, nada. haihs! =PP

miss afiqah aqmar azmie.

one gud old-friend of mine. i miss the sleepover la fie. haha. the bau belacan yg menusok idong as we entered ur aunts house. haha. the berangat maggi kari, asa nak lukus jak our lips. haha! the late nite talk. the jalan kepong bas. the go blvd n makan. the story2. adeh u. balit miri soon! if not i hirit ur ass back here later! ahaha! =PP

aimi shaira.

age gap between us : 3 years. dis kakak, tho tua, she acts like she's my age. haha! that's why we get along very well with each other. hoho. tho i've noen her not as long as i've noen those up there, but she's my very best sahabat. chewah. =PP we're only msgs away. ahaha. riiiittee. segalanya d hujung jari. ekeke. sheesh. crap. haha. well. she's the 1st person who i'd turn to if i've probs. she's usually the 1st person who i'd tell things to. she noes me inside out. i trust her so much. i really do. ngee. yay! she'll be home soon! n owyeah. madli! u me n lalingness, as usual. haha. n mkn at ur place, n mkn lua again, n mkn, n mkn, n mkn. ahahah! when she's arnd, all we do is eat. she stuffs me with tonnes of food. yummy ones of course. *dush* i promised i'd cook black pepper beef for u rite? wait till u'r back girl! ahahahahaha!

natasha ghaffary firdaus.

oh yes. tho we're far apart, she's in kch now, n im in miri, we still keep in touch. like evridaayyy. ahaha. msg ba. DiGi - always the smarter choice. riiiittee. =P haha! we're friends, since form 1. shared sOo much with her. we've had our ups and downs. we've been thru alot i tell u. hoh sha hoh? the trip to kch. the drama team. the tears, the laughs. aieh. too bad she had to move to kch in april last year. mun ndak we'd finish hi-school together d kolej eyh. sapa suroh u. =PP haha. im missing dis babe so much. ney tek nak dtg miri? pei today lom da gik btg idong nya ya! ngek. =PP

and this fellow~ hehe. i dont hafto mention hu he is, do i? =PP sum1 whom i've noen for a very long time... =)) switnes. hee. fara, shh. haha. =PP far apart, but close at heart. oh? rriiittteee.. ahaha!

there. done. ngee. all i wanna say is, apart from my family, these beloveds, they play a big role in my life. not just them, others, who were not mentioned too. friends. aihs. sure i'll get to noe more ppl, n i'll have new friends once i start studying. but as they say, old ones are to be kept, cuz they're gold. these people, i can't bear to lose. they're simply, irreplaceable. aieh. here i go, all emo-ish. haha. side efek eh. dh! i better end this now. =PP

aahh~ rriiiiitteee...

2007-05-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

haha! haven't been posting anything all these while hoh? hoho. have just read fara's post. and she's making me miss school. eyy babe, if u read this, pakata we go masok form 6 kjap, just to bring back all the memories, melepas indu n kta conquer d school for a while? haha! kakak pemos ba! sapa x knal. chewah. haha! adehs. *dush dush*

tot of posting some old-time pictures, back in kolej, but darn it, i forgot, my other pc, which i kept aaaaalllll the pics in it, all those precious precious pictures *sob sob*, meletup the other day. *kaput* hwaaa! seriously, it blew up. no kidding. it did! i dunno whether it can still be fixed. hafta just wait for my dad to do so. grr... bittersweet memories. ngaaa. tonnes and tonnes of pictures. gone. *hnsf hnsf* [ mun ekot kata fara, pronounciation nya *henesefe henesefe* haha!]
riiitteee. =PP

sayang kan gamba xda. wif them frens. i've got lots. crazy pics, ayu pics, skalo pics, u name it, i got it. hwaa! sadisnya. wait la hoh, if i hv d pix, i'll post it hoh. haha. this post sekadar meng-update my blog. crappy? yea, maybe. haha. =PP

owh. this one terjumpa lam my mom's laptop. mengarei kan i simpan gamba. haha. this is zaman pakei tudong triangle bak kata fara. haha. i miss my school bag. cheyy. =PP seriously, i pakei d bag dari form 1 till i finished high school. tahan kan? means im good at taking care of my stuffs. haha. riiiitteee...

fragile

2007-05-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

feeling down at the moment. i dont know why. wait, i do no. yes, i do. this is hard. have been flooding myself with tears these past few nites. it hurts. really hurts. i dont know, maybe it's cuz i've been keeping myself so strong for so long that i pushed aside the fragility in me. i've never been this sensitive about things. little things. frens noe im taff. but im not me rite now. im just not me. i can feel that. and i hate it when i feel like im not being me. cuz it sucks, really. the me i am rite this very moment is someone i dont noe. i never knew that there's "this me" in me. it's like im a stranger to myself now. that's just not rite. sheesh. have been locking myself up in my room, which i dont do so often. my tears ran dry cuz of all this crying//weeping these past few nites. anyone wants to volunteer giving me hugs? i cud really use a hug rite now. i need a hug.

shit happens

2007-05-07T02:22:00.000+08:00

everything happens for a reason.

good things happen for a reason.

shits happen for a reason.

see. everything happens for a reason.

wat happened to me, happens for a reason.

which i cant seem to figure out wat yet.

can someone tell me why?

hyper. =P blame that nescafe.

2007-04-30T01:13:00.000+08:00

m hyperly hyper. haha. i dont know why tonite i feel like cleaning-up every inch of my house. TONITE. i mean, hu cleans up at NITE? LATE at NITE? i dont usually do that. no one does that. uish. call me crazy. haha. i guess i was high on caffeine. aah. now THIS post has something to do with me being high on caffeine. ahahaha. adehs. i now, somehow, m back to being a coffee addict. i think. well not THAT addicted tho, but i cant seem to go thru one day without drinking nescafe. this was all cuz of THAT one day, was OUT OF MILO. aihs! my house never runs out of milo. cuz dad wud surely stock-up. but thaaatt day... THAAATT one day... whyyy la thiisss.... *tsk tsk* haha. nyeh. skip skip. dh dh! =PP

oww. went out wif my parents and my lil sis last saturday. met ejam with his girlfriend at watsons. haven't seen him for quite some time already. n yes, he's still as jahat to me as he used to be. haha. no lah. he's grown alright~ he's grown. taller. uish. he's already tall, why izit that he's growing taller? *dush dush* trensper la a few cm to me eh! hahahaha! =PP

owh. yay! got myself a new pair of shoes! well, not the one i wanted tho. finished edy maybe. grr. i seriously felt like crying cuz the shoes i wanted, that cute cute pair of shoes, was nowhere to be seeeennn... i went all teary. really, i did! ='( huhu. why oh why. blueh. to mend my broken heart~ (ahah!) i searched the whole boulevard, to find another pair. it took me hours just to find another pair which i think wud suit me. eventually, i did. not as cute as the one i wanted, but, yeah, i'll just have to make do with it la. kesian me kan? haihs.

the pizza "terjun", as wat my mom claims it to be. haha.

ha... earlier, b4 i went shopping for my shoes, we had lunch at pizza hut. dang, service was bad. n when i say bad, i mean, REALLY bad. seats were open, but then we still hafta wait to be seated, cuz they haven't cleared the tables. the food was gud, but we had to wait for like more than half an hour b4 the food was served. THEY were really "smart" and expects us to eat our spaghetti with spoons.if they gave us just forks i wudnt mind. but they gave us spoooonnsss, not foorrkkksss... and the soups, my mom had to go and get us some spoons so we cud like scoop the soups. my MOM. not the waiter//waitress. sheesh. and the pizza, the toppings were like, all dumped on top. apakata org swk tek, pizza "terjun". haha. ah. one more thing. usually, the plates n all are all ready n served on the table, kan. but no, that day, we had to ASK for the plates n all. food was on the table dh ba that time. sheesh.see how baaaddd the service was that day~ haaa.. ahah. bad impression to the customers la... but cant really blame them for all that la. i guess they didn't expect the crowd to be that large. [i see them buying drinks n raw stuf from GIANT. bgaut upa. guess they were out of it. haha.] school holiday, wudya expect. long weekend. people go out to makan n all. hoho. forgiven la this time. ngee.

what else what else? hermph. lemme see. owh. i forgot to mention. i found coins everywhere when i did the cleaning up. RM 3.10 in total. *reward reward* hahahaha! i'd be rich by the end of may if this were to happen everyday. haha! guess its cuz of my very sincere niat to clean-up and clear things, hoh? ehek. hah. enuff fer now. dh. i want to go off to bed. hehe. toodles.

high on caffeine

2007-04-27T15:27:00.000+08:00

this post has nothing to do with me being high on caffeine. ahaha. didnt noe wat to put, so made up one.

hmm... i don't do this so often. got this from afie, she posted it on friendster. i'm bored. hehek. and i feel like posting it.

MY TOP THREE BOYS

Enter their names (3 people of theopposite gender) (if u r a girl put boys name,boys put girls name.)

List the three girls or guys :
1. Zul
2. Syamil
3. Switnes

1. Are you older than number 1?
:: oh yes.

2. Are you younger than 2?
:: no no

3. How did you meet 3?
:: school

4. If you were crying would 2 cheer you up?
:: yes yes! for sure! i sOo noe he wud

5. Whos ur favorite?
:: all threeeee~

6. Where is Number 3 right now?
:: somewhere not here. aihs.

7. Have you hugged any of them?
:: have i?

8. Who have you known the longest?
:: 3

9.Who have you've known the shortest?
:: no shortest shortest. long enuff to not say its short da.

10. Who did you talk to last?
:: 3

11. Have you danced with any of them?
:: nah.

12. Who's the most awkward to be around?
:: none.

13. Are you taller than number 1?
:: aihs. i’m not tall. that’s a nice way of saying that im short. Aahaha.

14. Is any of the top 3 family?
:: nope

15. Do you trust them all?
:: with stuff, yes.

16. Would they be there for you,through thick and thin..
:: yes. well at least I think so.

17. What would you change about any of them?
:: nothing. they mite not be perfect in the eyes of others, but to me, they are. I love them for them, why bother changing them into someone they’re not? besides, imperfections are what make people different, and special. rite?

18.Who lives the closest to you?
:: 1

19. Who do you see the most?
:: sadly none. I don’t get to see them very often nowadays. Aihs.

20. Who knows the most about you?
:: I’d say 2?

21. have u ever went out with any ofthem?
:: went out as in going out having fun? Yes. All 3.

22. Who makes fun of you the most?
:: them all.

23.Who would tell you that you look stupid?
:: they all so bait. jaga ati. Ahaha. So, none, I think. Hehe.

24. Do you argue with them?
:: no. well, so far that is.

25. Would you break the law for them?
:: depends. haha.

26. Would you go to jail to protect them?
:: i’d BAIL them out of jail. i wudnt want to go to jail and live behind bars. Wud u?

midnite madness? naaahh...

2007-04-27T01:17:00.000+08:00

i was awaken by this *urgh* period pain. gosh. sakit i tell u. can't get myself to continue on sleeping//dreaming cuz it hurts so bad.

since i've got nothing better to do, i decided to post some pictures. hehe. went to school last wednesday. was with my brother's friends, accompanying them, go get their SPM cert.

met with these two boys there, *wink wink* my adek syg n adek kaseh. ahah. my two favourite boys. promised them i'd go to school last week, but the plan ended up canceled due to some reason. teehee. well at least i get to see them this week rite? cuz it's been ages since i last saw them. oh how i miss these two. wee~!

adek syg. *skalo as always* and adek kaseh. hehek.

showing some teeeeeeetthhh. haha! this picture was supposed to be me with only zul in it, but that boi back there enterframe jak keja. ahah.

ah. and yes, of course, my adek syg & i. i personally love this photo. i've tonnes of pictures with him tho. let's just say we love taking pictures together. haha.

owh. i'm not feeling well today actually. haha. can obviously tell that im sick jz by looking at my eyes. kembang kan? huhu. dang. asap rokok side efek + period. sheesh.

let it all out~...

2007-04-25T17:50:00.000+08:00

different people have different ways of letting things out when they're depressed.
some cry and burst out in tears.
some turn furious and let anger take over.
but some, just tend to bottle things up inside, not letting others noe how they really feel.

hermph. feelings are just something that's really hard to deal with, and u just can't help with. i mean, u can't control how mad u'd be towards others, or how furious they'd be towards u, rite? and u can't keep things locked to yourself for-ever-so-long, no matter how hard you try not letting it out. every single one of us have our limits on everything, rite? u'll come to a day, a moment, when u realise that u can't bear with it any longer. u noe that feeling? when u just can't take it anymore, u'r heart starts aching, n the pain made u cry? it hurts. it really hurts. and u just need to let it all out.

i am so malas.

2007-04-24T15:33:00.000+08:00

seriously. i've sorta, eh, no, wait. not sorta. i abandoned my blog, AGAIN. yes, again. n why is it dat i dont feel guilty abt it at all? cuz i dun think anyone reads it. but since nisa was like "boley sik aku link blog kau kat blog aku?", i decided to actually update my blog. after wat... 2 long months? haha. kesian. i'll try to keep this blog "alive" from now on sa. haha.
lemme see. wat is it dat i wanna actually post today? hermph. i have alot in mind. feel like typing it all in. cramp it all up together, but i dunno where to start. no, wait, actually i'm so lazy atm. haha. ngek. adehs. wait la another few days or so. cud be weeks. or months. (haha!) when i'm all-rajin to type something meaningful. not crappy like this post. aite? hehek! =PP toodles!

hermph~

2007-02-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

so hey. here i am. gaaah~! these past few days have been so tiring. hvnt had enuff sleep. was taking care of mummy. she got admitted for 2 nites at d hospital. she passed out while working out on d orbitrac, dat bike thing. den she fell down n knocked her head. erk! well, nothing serious, so no worries. she's out edy! hehe.
i'm tired. teehee. i din sleep while i was at d hospital. stayed up d whole nite. well i did take a 5-10 mins nap tho. hehe. d only time i cud really sleep was when i go home arnd noon. sleep for like 2 - 3 hours, den i've to go back to d hospital. while im at home, my brothers stayed with my mum. im on the night shift. ngehehe.
msging with friends, going online via mummy's fone, and scribbling//drawing on papers were the things i did to make me stay awake. hoho. my pen almost ran out of ink, and d book i scribbled was almost half full! wahlau eh. if i were to stay another nite there, i guess the book wud already b full, with craps i write n all. haha! nyeah.
owh. i've got dates tomorrow. one wif nab, one wif nisa, and one wif adek kaseh. but the thing is, i dont know whether i'd be able to go out or not. herh. *kacau kacau* gaah! if my mom says its ok~ means its ok la for me to go out. if she just keeps quiet, den... i cant la. haih. kesian me. really. all i want to do is jus go out, hang n spend my time with friends. haven't been out for like EVER so long. wif frens, that is. my last outing wif frens was way back last year. dat was like wat? 2 months ago? haiyaah. i miss my friends. really. hmm~ dhla i missd d bbq d other nite at nisa's. cz that nite my mom got admitted. ngee.

i really really wanna go out! hwaa~! mummy~ please~! teehee~! =PP

blueh. that's all la i guess. cz i dont know wat else to blog about. m outta ideas already. hehek!
owh owh. here's a pic of me at d hospital.

not bad la kan for someone who hasnt been sleeping d whole nite? haha! toodles~! =PP

Happy chinese new year~! =))

2007-02-18T05:42:00.000+08:00

happy chinese year all~ =)) wow. cny surely is one heck of a celebration. i mean like, wif d fireworks and all. its jz amazing. beautiful. seriously. colourful. i wonder where they get the supplies for d fire crackers n all. how come there's only *bunga api* and *mercun a-bom* for raya? nyeh! =PP
owh, last nite, went outside to enjoy d fireworks. before the clock strucks midnite, there were kabooms everywhere. front, back, left, right. wat more to say after 12? haha. the skies were filled with colours. it was B-E-A-utiful. its not evriday u get to see things like that happening rite? too bad i din haf my cam with me last nite. shud've taken some pictures. the view from outside my house was so beautiful. clear summore! aisey! i guess i was just too bz gazing at d sky, enjoying d pretty explosions dat i forgot to take some pix. haha!
hmm. its weird tho. usually, every yr i can hear d "dung-che's" dumdum-ing (d lion dance i mean). i wonder y this year my neighbourhood seems so quiet. perhaps they're too bz collecting ang pau's some where else that they forgot to come arnd here. haha. ngeh. i find d "lions" cute, really. especially d eyes. n d dancers sure noe how to shake their butts. attractive. haha!
ooh! speak of d devil. i jz heard d dumdum chengcheng sound. jz started playing. haha.
owh, i have no planned visits this year. not yet that is. hmm, maybe i'll go n visit terey's house. maybe. just maybe. teehee~! hu noe's, i'll get a red packet from him. haha! nyeah. =PP
aa, once again, happy cny! gong xi fa cai~! =))

entry post~ sort of.

2007-02-17T20:10:00.000+08:00

well hey~ it's been months already dat i abandoned my blog. sort of, that is. wanted to type-in a few things for like ever so long. jz din hf d chance to do so. everytime i felt like blogging, it's either sum1's using d pc or i jz cant seem to noe wat to tell. haih~! ngee.
hmm... some say, to blog, is to risk ur privacy. telling people about urself (which they mite never care about), and they dun even noe about u but they're able to judge what kind of person u are n things like that. u noe i noe. hee~. some say its stupid to blog. well everyone thinks differently rite? ngee~.
i've been doing a little "blogging" all these while neways. the old-skul way. no, not diaries. i dont do diaries. it's smth i call my "sesi heart to paper". haha. cute. nyeh. i write whenever i feel like writing. if smth's bothering me, and i hf no one arnd to talk to, i write. if i dont feel like telling it to anyone, i write. papers dont talk back. they just listen and let u jot//scribble anything on them. that's wat i like abt papers. haha.
i shifted from papers to pc. decided not to waste nemore papers. heheh! the trees are dying for hvn's sake. save the tree! ( i bet mdm yeoh's happy to here this. haha! owh, btw, mdm used to be my geo teacher. teehee~) ngee. i'm doing a good deed here. seriously, i am. haha! =PP not only will i save the tree, i wont have to worry about running out of inks when i write. true, rite? hee~
so hey, that's about it. i guess this is okay for an entry post, rite? ngee. till then. toodles~! hehek! =))

SeEtAhnEss-

To the one who got lost along the way.

I miss my friends.

A comeback post for someone who I shouldn't be giving a damn about but is too damned to not be given a damn about.

random.

This post is dedicated specially to Malisa Bt Ahmad. (Or whatever the fuck your name is.)

options.

One emo post... coming right up!

puzzled. and down.

almost...

im uploading this here sebab i rasa kiut. =P

staying home

...

emo

why?

i wish

no sleep. how?

a thank you note, and a story.

im taking baby steps

okay lala this one's for you

on the verge of breaking down and giving up

susah hati

depression mode : ON!

i miss this. =)

let me just clarify

mari menyanyi

silap saya

=))

kejam.

confused? perhaps i am.

it's true.

choices

lost

i feel...

a day well spent

6 days to go! =)

wide smiles on happy faces.

baby zacQ i LOVE you!

written out of boredom

let's get organized

a monster tagged me!

YIPPIE YAY!

so i've been busy...

tagged the setayel way. hoh ina hoh? =)

ain't karma a bitch? we know blair waldorf is.

Curtin International Cultural Day

wee! update!

friends

ENOUGH ALREADY!

lets do something crazy like post a video of urself. haha!

in my head

the real deal.

one tag pls. oh, wait. make it double.

tagged.

...

yay! *happy mode* the reason why i love love love to be in miri!

funny thing

you resort to doing something else

the two who made my day

i HATE goodbyes...

day out with nisa.

u noe how i am... haha!

IM BACK!

sorry. =P

wey people~!!!

short update~!

its not easy

edit edit!

can i not put a title for this post?

DUE TO THE ICKY-NESS OF THE FOLLOWING IMAGE, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

this is taff.

hmm...

...

one-eyed me. haha!

down the irreplaceable memories memory lane~ haha. whaa?

aahh~ rriiiiitteee...

fragile

shit happens

hyper. =P blame that nescafe.

high on caffeine

yay! happy mode the reason why i love love love to be in miri!